Post by Popcorn&Candy on Aug 22, 2022 7:47:57 GMT -5
My friend is a troublemaker. This is her track record:
1. She has a history of assault
2. She has physically fought off 6 policemen on occasion
3. She has a history of damage to property
4. She calls the police f**king c*nts
5. She has telephoned the ambulance when feeling suicidal - this is millions of times
6. She has had to attend court hearings for these crimes
7. She has been seeing people she has been advised not to visit - they agree to this
8. She has no respect or regard for nurses - she assaulted a nurse
9. She can't get a volunteer job because she has a criminal record
10. A potential employer would have to be told of her criminal record before hiriing her
11. She now has problems finding properties to live in because of her criminal record
She now has lost the house she was chosen to be an occupant of. This is not surprising. She could well end up in prison in later years, if she carries on like this. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if she did end up in prison. She is a criminal now, basically. It sounds mean, but it's true. She will continue to break the law. But I won't help her do it. She's never involved me directly in doing so, though.
It's sad but I do believe she will one-day be put in prison.
But that's the way the world is, James: if you don't look like you deserve that desk, you're not going to get that desk.
I've never really had any troublemaker friends as such. Some have been devious and criminal to some extent but no-one that would be described as dangerous. That said, I still remember one of my mum's friends. A lovely lady who we got on well with. She didn't live locally. We were shocked, a few years after we met her, to hear she had killed her husband with an axe. There were mitigating circumstances. He was abusive to some extent but you just never know.
Post by Popcorn&Candy on Aug 23, 2022 13:38:29 GMT -5
That's terrifying, jen.
The woman is a murderer and a criminal yet she seemed so normal. It goes to show you can't always believe the surface represents the soul. The woman is pure demon: a psychopath.
But that's the way the world is, James: if you don't look like you deserve that desk, you're not going to get that desk.
The woman is a murderer and a criminal yet she seemed so normal. It goes to show you can't always believe the surface represents the soul. The woman is pure demon: a psychopath.
The worrying part, I think, is that she is probably not a psychopath, just a fairly ordinary person. She may well have been pushed into acting on the spur of the moment. She lives in Australia though so is not local enough for great detail to be readily available so I cannot usefully say much.
One thought that does occur to me though is that when some people are the victims of abuse they are prone to suicide as they feel they cannot cope or go on whereas others may be similarly affected and react violently and kill the abuser instead. It's almost like a two way switch in their head. There is maybe sometimes little to choose which way it goes and we could ask how someone can be readily judged when they have been put under great strain. The law is aware of this hence the differences in charges but it is maybe not as simple as being sad at the suicide and angry at the murderer.
The woman is a murderer and a criminal yet she seemed so normal. It goes to show you can't always believe the surface represents the soul. The woman is pure demon: a psychopath.
The worrying part, I think, is that she is probably not a psychopath, just a fairly ordinary person. She may well have been pushed into acting on the spur of the moment. She lives in Australia though so is not local enough for great detail to be readily available so I cannot usefully say much.
One thought that does occur to me though is that when some people are the victims of abuse they are prone to suicide as they feel they cannot cope or go on whereas others may be similarly affected and react violently and kill the abuser instead. It's almost like a two way switch in their head. There is maybe sometimes little to choose which way it goes and we could ask how someone can be readily judged when they have been put under great strain. The law is aware of this hence the differences in charges but it is maybe not as simple as being sad at the suicide and angry at the murderer.
Yeah, she probably snapped, you know. It's sad and scary. A former flatmate of mine a few years ago were stabbed by her ex-husband after she successfully divorced him. She survived but her friend who was with her at that time did not. Her ex-husband is in the prison serving his 17 years sentence. Only 7 more years and he'll be out. We were flatmates 12 years ago when they were only boyfriend and girlfriend. I could not believe that he had a tendency to be violent and capable of killing. I only knew that he was possessive but very generous in his money and let her manage the finances, insurance back then. They divorced because he became abusive. I don't know if he snapped when he saw her with a man. Geez, the man wasn't even a boyfriend. So tragic and I feel for their kid.
The worrying part, I think, is that she is probably not a psychopath, just a fairly ordinary person. She may well have been pushed into acting on the spur of the moment.
I am afraid I don't agree with this. Yes, she snapped: but there was already a psychopathic switch in her head. There are plenty of people who snap, but they don't use an axe or stab the abuser.
I realize she seemed normal: but that was a fake image. She IS a psychopath. It's like this woman on TV visited a women's prison: the murderous women looked so normal: they wore normal clothes, they drank a cup of tea. But the prison guards knew what those women had done: in spite of their normal appearance they were pure evil.
I don't care how violent the man: murdering him makes the killer the villian. No matter how violent the man. Yes, this is obvious: but I do believe once a murderer, sympathy is gone.
But that's the way the world is, James: if you don't look like you deserve that desk, you're not going to get that desk.
No troublemaker friends.... I wouldn't be friends with people like that. I'm picky about those I have lasting friendships with, and they must be people I can trust.
The worrying part, I think, is that she is probably not a psychopath, just a fairly ordinary person. She may well have been pushed into acting on the spur of the moment. She lives in Australia though so is not local enough for great detail to be readily available so I cannot usefully say much.
One thought that does occur to me though is that when some people are the victims of abuse they are prone to suicide as they feel they cannot cope or go on whereas others may be similarly affected and react violently and kill the abuser instead. It's almost like a two way switch in their head. There is maybe sometimes little to choose which way it goes and we could ask how someone can be readily judged when they have been put under great strain. The law is aware of this hence the differences in charges but it is maybe not as simple as being sad at the suicide and angry at the murderer.
Yeah, she probably snapped, you know. It's sad and scary. A former flatmate of mine a few years ago were stabbed by her ex-husband after she successfully divorced him. She survived but her friend who was with her at that time did not. Her ex-husband is in the prison serving his 17 years sentence. Only 7 more years and he'll be out. We were flatmates 12 years ago when they were only boyfriend and girlfriend. I could not believe that he had a tendency to be violent and capable of killing. I only knew that he was possessive but very generous in his money and let her manage the finances, insurance back then. They divorced because he became abusive. I don't know if he snapped when he saw her with a man. Geez, the man wasn't even a boyfriend. So tragic and I feel for their kid.
Only 17 years.... Someone like that should get life. I wouldn't trust him not to do it again one day.
The woman is a murderer and a criminal yet she seemed so normal. It goes to show you can't always believe the surface represents the soul. The woman is pure demon: a psychopath.
The worrying part, I think, is that she is probably not a psychopath, just a fairly ordinary person. She may well have been pushed into acting on the spur of the moment. She lives in Australia though so is not local enough for great detail to be readily available so I cannot usefully say much.
One thought that does occur to me though is that when some people are the victims of abuse they are prone to suicide as they feel they cannot cope or go on whereas others may be similarly affected and react violently and kill the abuser instead. It's almost like a two way switch in their head. There is maybe sometimes little to choose which way it goes and we could ask how someone can be readily judged when they have been put under great strain. The law is aware of this hence the differences in charges but it is maybe not as simple as being sad at the suicide and angry at the murderer.
Yes, some people who are abused can randomly snap one day.. they feel constantly on edge and in danger. Their mind won't be as rational, but it won't mean they are a psycho who would go around murdering people regularly. It's unfortunate when it reaches such a level as suicide or murder, but I can still empathize at least in those scenarios.... you have to be beaten down so badly physically/emotionally to get to that point if it's not truly self-defense in the moment.
No troublemaker friends.... I wouldn't be friends with people like that. I'm picky about those I have lasting friendships with, and they must be people I can trust.
I usually steer well clear of troublemakers, but this one is in my life. She really needs care in the community. I do believe she is emotionally unwell and needs support. But I don't condone her past behaviour: she isn't helping herself. But there is nothing I can do, I guess: if she does end up in prison one-day, I'll only be able to watch.
Until someone helps themselves, it is game over.
But that's the way the world is, James: if you don't look like you deserve that desk, you're not going to get that desk.
Yeah, she probably snapped, you know. It's sad and scary. A former flatmate of mine a few years ago were stabbed by her ex-husband after she successfully divorced him. She survived but her friend who was with her at that time did not. Her ex-husband is in the prison serving his 17 years sentence. Only 7 more years and he'll be out. We were flatmates 12 years ago when they were only boyfriend and girlfriend. I could not believe that he had a tendency to be violent and capable of killing. I only knew that he was possessive but very generous in his money and let her manage the finances, insurance back then. They divorced because he became abusive. I don't know if he snapped when he saw her with a man. Geez, the man wasn't even a boyfriend. So tragic and I feel for their kid.
Only 17 years.... Someone like that should get life. I wouldn't trust him not to do it again one day.
oops, I was wrong, sorry. It's 30 years. I just checked my source.
Only 17 years.... Someone like that should get life. I wouldn't trust him not to do it again one day.
oops, I was wrong, sorry. It's 30 years. I just checked my source.
I guess that is a bit better, but even if he's old by the time he is out, then he could still do it again really. I've seen stories of elderly murderers repeating offenses within days of release.. pretty crazy!
The worrying part, I think, is that she is probably not a psychopath, just a fairly ordinary person. She may well have been pushed into acting on the spur of the moment.
I am afraid I don't agree with this. Yes, she snapped: but there was already a psychopathic switch in her head. There are plenty of people who snap, but they don't use an axe or stab the abuser.
I realize she seemed normal: but that was a fake image. She IS a psychopath. It's like this woman on TV visited a women's prison: the murderous women looked so normal: they wore normal clothes, they drank a cup of tea. But the prison guards knew what those women had done: in spite of their normal appearance they were pure evil.
I don't care how violent the man: murdering him makes the killer the villian. No matter how violent the man. Yes, this is obvious: but I do believe once a murderer, sympathy is gone.
By your definition / description your friend is a psychopath who has yet to kill someone?
I don't believe she is as what she is showing is common behaviour, more like someone who has difficulty coping or socially. My background is not in mental health so I am not in a positon to describe a true psychopath but, with what you say, there would be hundreds of them about.
No, I don't agree with you although my opinion of mental health, which has been disagreed with by at least one professional in that field, is that no-one is totally stable, the human mind fluctuating to a degree from a stable point in many ways like normal illness. In this, my take would be that the psychopath has a permanently skewed trait which makes them devoid of things like compassion. Temporary mental illness or deviation, in my view, is not the same.
I am afraid I don't agree with this. Yes, she snapped: but there was already a psychopathic switch in her head. There are plenty of people who snap, but they don't use an axe or stab the abuser.
I realize she seemed normal: but that was a fake image. She IS a psychopath. It's like this woman on TV visited a women's prison: the murderous women looked so normal: they wore normal clothes, they drank a cup of tea. But the prison guards knew what those women had done: in spite of their normal appearance they were pure evil.
I don't care how violent the man: murdering him makes the killer the villian. No matter how violent the man. Yes, this is obvious: but I do believe once a murderer, sympathy is gone.
By your definition / description your friend is a psychopath who has yet to kill someone?
I don't believe she is as what she is showing is common behaviour, more like someone who has difficulty coping or socially. My background is not in mental health so I am not in a positon to describe a true psychopath but, with what you say, there would be hundreds of them about.
No, I don't agree with you although my opinion of mental health, which has been disagreed with by at least one professional in that field, is that no-one is totally stable, the human mind fluctuating to a degree from a stable point in many ways like normal illness. In this, my take would be that the psychopath has a permanently skewed trait which makes them devoid of things like compassion. Temporary mental illness or deviation, in my view, is not the same.
I agree with you jen my uncle was a police officer for many years and went through the ranks until he joined interpol as a senior dectective.
When he transferred out back into 'normal'policing we asked if he had many murders on his patch he replied "not serious ones" he went on to explain that the person who strikes out while carving the roast or grabs the nearest thing to hand and strikes someone in the heat of a row or after the countless time of being abused is not a serious risk to society and often need compassion rather than punishment.
The snapping point killers who wouldnt normally hurt a fly.
However when you have the hit men and organised crime its different they get told who to kill and its business they are ruthless and efficient but often their victims are criminals too so he didnt see that as too much of a loss.
His biggest hate was the serial killers who really are disturbed and the gang kids who will pick some innocent person at random someone with no chance of defending themselves and kill to 'jump in' with the gang.
As he said these people are beyond remdemption.
Killing isnt a black and white issue as so many think, its a deeply complexed matter.
Anyone is capable of murder or killing. It's just a matter of time and circumstances. Even for self-defense, I do not wish to be in that position. But I won't hesitate if my loved ones would be in danger.
Psychopath, well, that's mental. That's another level.
Psychopath, to my understanding is someone who has an impaired sense of empathy.
In all mental health conditions there are varying degrees, and psychopathy is no different. Thus some just lack care for their fellow traveller, others will think nothing of stomping over them, just to get past.
The less empathy they have, the more dangerous they are. Of course those of us who watched Dexter, will be well aware that even the most dangerous can fit in to society quite seamlessly.
Killing isnt a black and white issue as so many think, its a deeply complexed matter.
This is 100% true: murder is NOT black or white: it is a deeply complex matter. I don't believe anyone can kill someone: there are people who will never kill: even if they snap. Again, I believe it just takes a trigger to make someone with psychopathic tendencies kill in the spur of the moment. It isn't normal to turn into a psychopath because someone is abusive.
The less empathy they have, the more dangerous they are. Of course those of us who watched Dexter, will be well aware that even the most dangerous can fit in to society quite seamlessly.
Psychopaths can be very clever and seem normal: they are not always identified by a bloody knife. In fact, psychopaths are good at hiding their true nature. They murder in secret. They don't need to snap to kill: they kill for pleasure. Psychopaths are very nasty inside and it isn't always possible to spot one. Again, they don't always use a knife. They find ways and means to get to others.
You don't want to tangle with a psychopath.
But that's the way the world is, James: if you don't look like you deserve that desk, you're not going to get that desk.
Killing isnt a black and white issue as so many think, its a deeply complexed matter.
This is 100% true: murder is NOT black or white: it is a deeply complex matter. I don't believe anyone can kill someone: there are people who will never kill: even if they snap. Again, I believe it just takes a trigger to make someone with psychopathic tendencies kill in the spur of the moment. It isn't normal to turn into a psychopath because someone is abusive.
The less empathy they have, the more dangerous they are. Of course those of us who watched Dexter, will be well aware that even the most dangerous can fit in to society quite seamlessly.
Psychopaths can be very clever and seem normal: they are not always identified by a bloody knife. In fact, psychopaths are good at hiding their true nature. They murder in secret. They don't need to snap to kill: they kill for pleasure. Psychopaths are very nasty inside and it isn't always possible to spot one. Again, they don't always use a knife. They find ways and means to get to others.
You don't want to tangle with a psychopath.
People who kill for pleasure are not psychopaths. Psychopathy is about lacking, not gaining.
I know a psychopath, he is perfectly harmless as he is mildly affected, and takes medication. He was assessed and diagnosed when his father caught him swinging a cat around by the tail. He said he was curious as to if it got dizzy when he put it down.
That is typical of a psychopath, it has nothing to do with killing. That they can kill is not a diagnosis, it is just a symptom, they may or may not have.
They are not even nasty inside, they simply don't have the mechanism that tells them what not to do.
Last Edit: Aug 25, 2022 10:49:56 GMT -5 by a_muppet
People who kill for pleasure are not psychopaths. Psychopathy is about lacking, not gaining.
I agree. Psychopaths do not kill for pleasure. Sadists do. Psychopaths and sadists are not related to each other. Their brain structures are different (as is to sane people). There are lots of scientific articles from PubMed. As previously pointed out, psychopaths are lacking of empathy and so they (if they do or are triggered) have different pathway of killing from sadists.
It isn't normal to turn into a psychopath because someone is abusive.
It isn't normal at all to kill because someone is abusive. However, people may kill in varying reasons or circumstances. That doesn't mean they are psychopaths or with psychopathic tendencies.
Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 10, 2022 6:00:24 GMT -5
I've let down my friend: and feel terrible. I changed my mind about her coming over for the night: she has stood up for herself, which is fine. But I feel awful. I still want my apartment to myself tonight, but feel like I've been a right cow to her.
But she tells me how it is: so I know where we stand. I definitely didn't set out to deliberately let her down: I just wanted to be alone today.
Do you think I'm a bad friend? What would you have done in my shoes? Do you ever just want to be alone?
But that's the way the world is, James: if you don't look like you deserve that desk, you're not going to get that desk.
Post by Rebecca Jo on Sept 10, 2022 18:17:08 GMT -5
As an introvert, I'm biased here and think there's nothing wrong with saying you need to change nights, especially if it's because you need time alone.
I can see a friend being disappointed at a change in plans, but a good friend will be understanding. And you can always do a little something special to make up for it.
I've let down my friend: and feel terrible. I changed my mind about her coming over for the night: she has stood up for herself, which is fine. But I feel awful. I still want my apartment to myself tonight, but feel like I've been a right cow to her.
But she tells me how it is: so I know where we stand. I definitely didn't set out to deliberately let her down: I just wanted to be alone today.
Do you think I'm a bad friend? What would you have done in my shoes? Do you ever just want to be alone?
Not being in your shoes, I have no idea.
As your friend, I would have been sympathetic, if I thought you had told me the truth. But not if I felt you were just making an excuse.
As an introvert, I'm biased here and think there's nothing wrong with saying you need to change nights, especially if it's because you need time alone.
I can see a friend being disappointed at a change in plans, but a good friend will be understanding. And you can always do a little something special to make up for it.
I will do this. I honestly just wanted to be alone that particular evening.
I'll make up for it!
But that's the way the world is, James: if you don't look like you deserve that desk, you're not going to get that desk.
Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 15, 2022 4:21:09 GMT -5
I spoke to my friend last night, after she texted me to telephone her.
When she realized that I had not - in fact - betrayed her, she got talking to me again. There is NO WAY I'd deliberately get her into trouble. I wouldn't betray someone like that. No matter who they were.
Anyhow, Vicky now knows the truth and we're fine again.
But that's the way the world is, James: if you don't look like you deserve that desk, you're not going to get that desk.
I've never really had any troublemaker friends as such. Some have been devious and criminal to some extent but no-one that would be described as dangerous. That said, I still remember one of my mum's friends. A lovely lady who we got on well with. She didn't live locally. We were shocked, a few years after we met her, to hear she had killed her husband with an axe. There were mitigating circumstances. He was abusive to some extent but you just never know.