Troublemaker Friend

I've read your post with great interest, jen: you have pointed out important things. She doesn't realize that she won't get sympathy by demanding attention. And would she get along with someone else similar to her? I will certainly ask her those questions: with tact, of course.

I shall heed your words, jen.

Hi Candy, maybe you can look at it this way. There are many speedy cars on the highway, the cops can't catch all of them, so they need to pick the one within their reach or the one they consider worth being caught. Maybe your friend Vicky falls within this range. I do believe that, a person is caught because they must have committed something serious. Scapegoat is when the person is innocent or does not commit anything serious. If you do the crime, be ready to pay regardless of why the other criminals are not caught, they will, it just take time.

You mention she just need someone to listen to her, are you saying she is behaving badly just to get attention? How old is she? if she is 30s or 40s...and is willing to go to that length just to get attention, there is no way you can help her, in fact you are enabling her because she will continue to do it so that she can your attention again and again but is it your attention that she is seeking or is she a chronic, habitual petty criminal? if she is, there is no amount of listening that will help her. So, besides listening to her? what else have you done to help her? if you think you should help her.

All your responses have given me food for thought.

I will not get involved in any bad behaviour. I do know she has good in her, but I will be cautious. I do not condone breaking the law and will only offer worded advice.

Ultimately, it is up to Vicky to behave in a mature way and learn how to do it right. I can only advise her and just talk to her on the phone. I think she knows all this, too.

You've all been right: Vicky is a troublemaker through and through.

If she runs away - like she has threatened - then she'll be done for comtempt of court and will end up in a police cell. She also says she's going to kill herself. She has no one to spend Christmas with and is very lonely.

I know I keep defending her: but I can't defend her if she is a criminal. I wish - and hope - it turns out she isn't a criminal, but I am wondering.

No: I'm sure of it. BUT she does have behavioural problems. She can be very aggressive and hard. People don't react to this in a nice way.

But she has a roof over her head: that is all that matters.

She seems to be determined to make trouble and destroy herself.

She has moved on again: there was trouble with her "landlord" for lack of a better term.

I won't go into it but she has moved on. Fingers crossed, she gets a new property in the coming months. At the very least she'll have temporary accomodation for at least 6 months.

I hate to say it but this is enabling..

Vicky has been calling every so often since 6am today. Way too early for a social call. I'll just say I was in bed asleep: there's no reason she'd doubt me. Because I am NOT having a social chat at that time of day. The king could telephone me at that time and I wouldn't answer the phone.

You need a better quality of friend.