Suicide Awareness

My friend realised I'd blocked her on my phone: she wasn't happy. However, I explained why and she understood. We now have a new rule that she is not to telephone after 9:30pm. She has also said I just need to say I don't want to talk if she calls at a bad time.

They were hard words, but I am glad my friend was able to be honest with me: rather than hold a grudge that festers and poisons the friendship.

It is a general rule that calls after 9 are urgent.

I honestly hate the current state of suicide prevention. I've dealt with suicidal thoughts in the past and I've had my experience with hotlines as well as WARM lines. By the way, never call a suicide hotline for common problems like loneliness as this would allow them to only devote ten or so minutes as to keep the line clear for those in an immediately crisis. Do call a national suicide hotline if you require information concerning WARM lines which are essentially the same thing but mostly for people who just need someone to talk to in the moment. Regardless, a lot of the time the people who answer the hotlines never seem trained to handle such situations or understand the potential reasons for why a person maybe suicidal. I've even managed to turn someone on the other end of the call silent because some of my thought patterns were ones that they didn't know how to answer. And of course, there are companies out there who much rather call the cops despite the person saying they have a handle on their mental health instead of improving their products or services. Especially when a lot of the times calling the cops can elevate a situation to even more dangerous levels and even if the more passive outcome occurred then the person would be checked into a mental health facility which is practically a place where "normal" people go to treat those with mental disorders and mental illnesses like lesser beings. It is almost enough to make one give up on any kind of suicide prevention entirely and rely solely on our evolutionary survival mechanism that keeps us yearning to survive due to our fear of death. Which actually makes deaths by suicide even more tragic as that means the environmental conditions outweighed that fear of death. Yet nobody ever wants to acknowledge why so they could repair things as not to cause another death. I really hate how in the United States alone mental health and suicide get neglected because a lot of organizations are too afraid to change the status quo as to improve conditions for the person.

I want to exit this world.

Why do you want to exit the world, Leaf? What problems are you going through?

Leaf if you're willing to tell us this then you need to come and tell us why. If you're here telling us this you need to come and let us help you find someone to help you. Many sites won't allow these kinds of posts. There are national hotlines you can call. Most people who truly want to kill themselves don't announce it. If you want help then get it.

...seems like a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  Hint:  Aside from terminal/chronic illnesses they're all temporary.

If they’re all temporary problems then it feels like it’s an answer to all of them honestly. Plus non-existence is a luxury and I don’t deserve such luxuries. I wouldn’t worry about me departing this world for that very reason.

Alrighty then. I was just trying to help.

I find it sad to say but the people I am aware of who have commited suicide (including a relative) gave little clue that they were about to end it all. Being able to argue the point about the facillites available really does not mean much to me.

Indeed. My father did the shopping ,talked to a neighbour cooked a meal ,laid the table then turned the heat down and killed himself.
My brother was on a night out had a beer a laugh with mates but on the way home took a detour to end his life.
The third went to work told my mum he would see her at 10 and asked her to give tea to his daughter who was coming over for the weekend. Then on they way to work he stopped went to the park and there he ended his life.

Three times , no drama no threats, no warning . Yes problems in the past with MH issues but nothing to indicate that this was their last day.

I think I'd do the same, as bad as that sounds. Also, if someone told me I was going to be homeless - and there was no chance AT ALL - of ever having a roof over my head again, I would kill myself. If I had a severe bowel problem, I'd also kill myself.

I know all this sounds terrible, but I simply wouldn't be able to live with those problems. Having cancer/being homeless/having a severe bowel problem would all end in my killing myself: I just know it.

Sometimes I wonder how I managed to make it to 42 years old.

I don't mean to sound like a traitor towards my friend: BUT I do wonder if she'd really kill herself, push comes to shove. I sincerely hope not.

I do know she struggles and lives a hard life, so I won't backstab her.