We felt that a little discussion may be appropriate.
At this particular moment we decided that the forum would no longer tolerate the questioning of the validity of trans people as men or women.
This decision, therefore, was our reaction to the issue.
If you would like to make comment on our decision please join in below. But do take note that this is not for a discussion on their validity, but a discussion on our decision to no longer tolerate it.
I think we've all talked about it enough. We are accepting of all women here, and some of the comments made at times are not ones anyone would want to read about themselves if it were targeted toward them, plain and simple.
I'm also frustrated because I'm kinda tired of constantly having to walk on eggshells around everyone for fear I may say something offensive. Maybe it's time to consider putting the media away. IDK but it's just exhausting anymore.
I'm also frustrated because I'm kinda tired of constantly having to walk on eggshells around everyone for fear I may say something offensive. Maybe it's time to consider putting the media away. IDK but it's just exhausting anymore.
I think you may have been burned by other moderators, on other forums or groups. You well know the only three active mods on here, and you well know we are not out to get anyone, and that we are not vindictive people.
Anyone crossing a line, and they are rather grey usually, will be politely advised before any restrictions are put into place.
If memory serves me, you have never been anywhere near a red line.
The old adage still stands up here: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
The old adage still stands up here: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
This is fitting. And a rule I have always lived by.
Actually, you have just reminded me. There are always some. like you and Mary, who I would be surprised if they ever stepped over a line.
Others, like me maybe, don't always have such self restraint/wisdom. More than once I have deleted, then re-written comments, before finally removing the post altogether, as I felt I may have stepped over a line, and was writing with passion, and not with feeling.
Model yourselves on Heather, if you need any guidance. Her posts are always thoughtful, and compassionate, without coming across as goody-two-shoes.
I'm also frustrated because I'm kinda tired of constantly having to walk on eggshells around everyone for fear I may say something offensive. Maybe it's time to consider putting the media away. IDK but it's just exhausting anymore.
You don't have to walk on eggshells here. You have never caused any problems, so I hope you don't ever feel that way. Your name doesn't even come to mind in regard to this post! lol
This isn't about anyone who is just seeking to understand something that is different to them; it's for any who are being somewhat hateful or writing off people entirely because they don't wish to ever understand, as they've already made up their mind. They basically don't want people to exist as they are and will say disparaging things about them. I've already made it so new members cannot see/access certain areas at first to try to cut back on this type of thing, but overall, we cannot allow people to continue on that way because this is supposed to be a friendly and welcoming place. That takes priority over "freedom of speech." We're not the government, so we can make our own rules and people just have to deal with it or move along
In summary.... If the speech makes people feel like they don't belong, then that speech does not belong here.
The goal is to be kind and tactful when discussing anything that could be controversial, which you have done. We are just going to enforce this more strongly with others who are stepping out of line and not being as thoughtful. Disagreements are allowed and are normal, but some can take it too far at times. Even still, nobody is punished forever; it's time outs... we give ample warnings and many chances for people to do better.
Last Edit: Oct 21, 2022 10:09:39 GMT -5 by heatherly
This is fitting. And a rule I have always lived by.
Model yourselves on Heather, if you need any guidance. Her posts are always thoughtful, and compassionate, without coming across as goody-two-shoes.
What helps is that my goal is never to make anyone feel bad about themselves, no matter how much I disagree with them... It is natural for me, but anyone can learn to be more tactful if they choose their words based on that type of mindset, I think
Post by Popcorn&Candy on Oct 21, 2022 14:44:52 GMT -5
Tact is vital. OK, so I share my opinion often BUT I do it with care, thoughtfulness and tact. I think before I speak. I also believe in being nice. Some people take that for me being a fool: but they are wrong, because I am not a fool.
Honesty is subjective. I've been honest - as a young person - and quickly realized my mistake. I guess you live and you learn.
we decided that the forum would no longer tolerate the questioning of the validity of trans people as men or women.
Generally, communication done in a respectful way can shine light to both parties intended message. Sometimes, it can bring up an out of the box insights. However, the decision may be the right thing to do since it appears that majority of active members are not comfortable on the subject matter or not keen to participate.
I just want to assert that I have had no discriminatory intention in bringing up the subject. Disagreement is not tantamount to discrimination. I have transgender friends who I respect highly. I refer her "her" even before the soaring stipulating demand to use the preferred pronouns. It's called decency and politeness back in the days, at least, in my experience.
No worries on my part. I know my place. If no one wants to talk about sensitive topic as such in a non-discriminatory and objective way, I'm fine with it. Thanks, Cherry, for moderating.
we decided that the forum would no longer tolerate the questioning of the validity of trans people as men or women.
Generally, communication done in a respectful way can shine light to both parties intended message. Sometimes, it can bring up an out of the box insights. However, the decision may be the right thing to do since it appears that majority of active members are not comfortable on the subject matter or not keen to participate.
I just want to assert that I have had no discriminatory intention in bringing up the subject. Disagreement is not tantamount to discrimination. I have transgender friends who I respect highly. I refer her "her" even before the soaring stipulating demand to use the preferred pronouns. It's called decency and politeness back in the days, at least, in my experience.
No worries on my part. I know my place. If no one wants to talk about sensitive topic as such in a non-discriminatory and objective way, I'm fine with it. Thanks, Cherry, for moderating.
I am going to let you away with that. It is obvious that you are just not getting it. Your intention is not malicious, but sometimes when everybody around you is pointing to a different route, it has to be apparent that you are probably walking off in the wrong direction.
Things like politics are subjects that I may comment on but really don't interest me that much so I don't dwell on it. I'm no expert so, beyond a vote, that's really it. The same can be applied to many other sensitive subjects. Ten points for guessing the one thread here that I don't ever think I've posted on and never even look at it (mods are dis-allowed ).
See, I don't talk politics anymore. I only post a link
If you haven't noticed I pretty much stay away from politics also. In the last year maybe one or two times at most.
I think that the members by and large are indicating by their attendance, and their posting styles, that contrariness is not really popular in this corner of the internet.
In short, if people are looking to enjoy an argument, there seems little point in coming round here.
Things like politics are subjects that I may comment on but really don't interest me that much so I don't dwell on it. I'm no expert so, beyond a vote, that's really it. The same can be applied to many other sensitive subjects. Ten points for guessing the one thread here that I don't ever think I've posted on and never even look at it (mods are dis-allowed ).
If you haven't noticed I pretty much stay away from politics also. In the last year maybe one or two times at most.
I think that the members by and large are indicating by their attendance, and their posting styles, that contrariness is not really popular in this corner of the internet.
In short, if people are looking to enjoy an argument, there seems little point in coming round here.
Diversity of thoughts have ups and downs in any community (online or IRL). There will always be a clash of opinions no matter what because we are all unique in every way. Discussing contentious subject matters in an objective way is a way to make a progress. I apologise for accidentally disturbing the peace and quiet nature of WOF. Reflecting back, I acknowledged my missteps by not carefully checking enough before I decided opening a discussion like I did. It's a learning experience for me. You're right. This corner of the internet is no place for sensitive topics as such and that's alright. Now that I pretty much know what's underneath the river, I won't swim next time. I'll ride a boat. Whistles. Rowing the boat in a nice, sunny day. Now, that's the girl time.
Last Edit: Oct 22, 2022 15:46:40 GMT -5 by cattleya
I think that the members by and large are indicating by their attendance, and their posting styles, that contrariness is not really popular in this corner of the internet.
In short, if people are looking to enjoy an argument, there seems little point in coming round here.
Diversity of thoughts have ups and downs in any community (online or IRL). There will always be a clash of opinions no matter what because we are all unique in every way. Discussing contentious subject matters in an objective way is a way to make a progress. I apologise for accidentally disturbing the peace and quiet nature of WOF. Reflecting back, I acknowledged my missteps by not carefully checking enough before I decided opening a discussion like I did. It's a learning experience for me. You're right. This corner of the internet is no place for sensitive topics as such and that's alright. Now that I pretty much know what's underneath the river, I won't swim next time. I'll ride a boat. Whistles. Rowing the boat in a nice, sunny day. Now, that's the girl time.
Clashes of opions are very rare here. We do have a lot of discussion, but I can only ever recall two issues that have ever caused a clash, and considering our daily attendance, and posting rates, that's remarkably low.
Diversity of thoughts have ups and downs in any community (online or IRL). There will always be a clash of opinions no matter what because we are all unique in every way. Discussing contentious subject matters in an objective way is a way to make a progress. I apologise for accidentally disturbing the peace and quiet nature of WOF. Reflecting back, I acknowledged my missteps by not carefully checking enough before I decided opening a discussion like I did. It's a learning experience for me. You're right. This corner of the internet is no place for sensitive topics as such and that's alright. Now that I pretty much know what's underneath the river, I won't swim next time. I'll ride a boat. Whistles. Rowing the boat in a nice, sunny day. Now, that's the girl time.
Clashes of opions are very rare here. We do have a lot of discussion, but I can only ever recall two issues that have ever caused a clash, and considering our daily attendance, and posting rates, that's remarkably low.
I think we have discussed senstive subjects with a great deal of depth and maturity subjects such as abuse and suicide have been discussed at length . However there is a difference is how these subjects were apporoached they were coming from a place of love and support not contention or non acceptance.
a_muppet: Ha, I just spotted you, Noeleena - sneaking in. ::Sgc7Hl4::
Nov 13, 2024 3:58:37 GMT -5
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TestDummyCO: WOF has creaky floors. ::mCOIty6::
Nov 13, 2024 21:01:47 GMT -5
heatherly: ::Sgc7Hl4::
Nov 13, 2024 21:06:02 GMT -5
jen: It's good to know you are still here Noeleena ::Sgc7Hl4::
Nov 14, 2024 3:39:22 GMT -5
Ɖσмιиιc ♰: creaking floors, you make me laugh, Cherry has good eyes huh?
Nov 14, 2024 21:25:03 GMT -5
noeleena: Thank you i do come in allmost every night ,just dont allways have some thing to say ,of cause you know i,m a spy....lol,s.
Nov 19, 2024 2:06:33 GMT -5
MaryContrary: lol hi noeleena!
Nov 19, 2024 5:58:54 GMT -5
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MaryContrary: she's like the wof elf on a shelf *giggles*
Nov 19, 2024 5:59:54 GMT -5