All Things Relationship

How do you move on from feelings toward a close friend?

I've met my best friend near the beginning or middle of 2020 and it wasn't until 2022 when I had a sudden realization that I may have legitimate feelings for this person. Before that we were and still are essentially family. I've been like a big sister to him and he's been like my brother. So I was unsure how to handle this burst of emotions in the first month of the year. I would usually go to consult with him, but there was a reason that I never felt like that was an option. The reason being is that he finally met someone himself and something that I've been waiting to happen for his sanity. He's dealt with a lot of trauma in childhood which lead him to believe that nobody could ever really love him. I was happy for him and yet at the same time I was hurting.

With my first option gone when it comes to conversing about such feelings. I went to a close friend of ours and asked her what she makes of what I was feeling. She helped me throughout the course of last year. I would never forget what she told me and what he told me too. There is always someone else afterward. I found out the truth behind those words almost immediately. His girlfriend and I grew close to a point where we're essentially sisters. Enter her best friend. There was something about her that I felt drawn to and wanted to get to know. We started talking a lot and I enjoyed our conversations with one another. I could tell she was a person who loved to learn as much as I do. I saw great potential in her to do great things if she could ever escape situations that hold her back. Unfortunately, her feelings weren't reciprocated, as later us three found out that she may have had feelings for her friend. Upon finding this out I immediately felt bad as I reflected upon my feelings for my best friend, the boyfriend of her friend, and was astonished at the chances that two people each had friends who felt something for them. Where as for me I knew his happiness had to come before my own and she made him happy. That was good enough for me. Though for the other person, she tried to sabotage their relationship and attempted to win her friend over. The worse part is I empathize with her feelings and yet I feel outraged by her actions.

The truth is I'm over the second person in this story, but there are times when I still feel something for the first. There was a intense moment which I will not go into detail, but it left my friend, his girlfriend, in emotion distress. I went to go talk with her and comfort her, but this only caused me to breakdown emotionally as well and I sort of loss control from holding back my feelings that she knew. Not only did she felt a tremendous burden from possibly holding a secret that I requested. She didn't want to feel like she was lying to him. I knew that sooner or later she was going to tell him so I reassured her that it was okay if she talked about it. That I wasn't going to be upset or angry with her. She reassured me I wasn't like the person who tried to break them up.

He talked to me and told me that he spoke with her. He reassured me that through and through we were always going to be friends. This little family we created consisting of the three of us and then some held together. Yet I still hold personal feelings for him that I am trying to get over. I only wish I knew how to quickly get over someone without having to have my emotions jump to an entirely different person. We still hang out and I think the plans we made for all three of us to become roommates is moving closer to fruition. I only wish I could get over these feelings.