Punishment time

in all honesty, i never really mis behaved enough to be punised, im not saying you was naughty though Cher haha!!

i will never forget the first and last time my dad slapped me on my leg, not only did it sting his hand too but it broke his heart and he never did it again.
my mum gave me a few cracks, i always remember the time she slapped me accross my head for having an attitude and i instantly kicked her back, she didnt like that.
if we was ever in town and started with attitude or arguing we would get a crack off my mum.
she took my phone from me a few times too.
i was caught smoking in my first year of hogh school on the school grounds, my parents grounded me for 6 weeks.
i was grounded a few times for petty things but they would un ground me in a few hours bcos i was annoying them if it was nothing major.
i remember my 16th birthday, my mum allowed me to drink as long as i was with them, she hired a room and as you can imagine i got a little drunk, answered back to her and she grabbed me by my throat in front of all my friends.

thats all i can think of for now, my parents were pretty cool actually, i wouldn't say they weren't strict at all bcos they were, in their own way

Once in a while my dad would backhand me across the chops. I never really got over it. But I did come to terms with some stuff once I realized parents are not perfect and they probably did the best that they could, given their flaws. Or at least that is what my shrink told me!

My mother never hit me and she was not a perfect parent. She did say some really hurtful things that stuck with me for a long time but I have since forgiven her for most of it.  I realize I am not a perfect friend, (& when I have one.. ), girlfriend etc....so that allows me to forgive.

i will always remember when my grandma used to threaten me with the 'naughty girls home'.
in what was my bedroom at their house you could just see this big old building and when i did something she would take me up to the bedroom, look out of the window and say 'you see that naughty girls home, you will go there if you dont behave' it never scared me, my grandma was very calm, petite and very very sweet and loving, she never said it in a mean way.

anyway i once went home and told my mum (the only reason was i burnt my tummy on the radiator and i told her i did it when grandma was showing me the naughty girls home telling me i will go there) i will always remember what she said..
'*laughs* ahh that old chest nut, its okay, she used to tell me that too until i found out it was inface a 'naughty boys home' so i told her to send me, it will be fun'

my grandma never used that punishment again hahaha

she was the coolest!!
i also remember when i stayed over at her house, she was getting ready and said to me 'do you want to go to the shop for some milk' so i said yes and off i went, i got to the shop (just down the road) and realised i took no money, when i walked back through the door i was welcomed with my grandma shouting and carrying on. Well i had no clue as to what i did wrong, turns out she didnt want me to go on my own she was asking if i wanted to go with her, so i hid for the rest of the day because there was nothing worse than my grandma being upset with me.. she later did explain she was upset because she thought i went missing.. ooppss!!

she also once put mascara on me when we was on holiday, that night when she was taking it off i was crying and crying, she raised her voice and told me im never wearing it ever again, i never did dare wear it again until she passed away, hahaha!!

I am not sure why I find that so disturbing?

It has been in the back of my mind for days now.

I grew up in the 70's (yea yea I'm old) and on a real farm. My parent's were very strict in some ways and very liberal in others. We did get "whippings" with a belt and the occasional pop across the face. Tho I have to say most if the time I had it coming.

That being said our life style was very dangerous and most of my punishments were for doing things that could have gotten me or someone else hurt or killed. I also grew up with brothers and male cousins  and we fought ALL the freaking time. They put me through hell. (Just kid things nothing nefarious) I put both of my brothers in the A&E at one point and one time both on the same day!  I just refused to take their shit.  One time I even paid my brother 25p (a lot of money back then!) to wee on our electric fence. Let me tell you it was WELL worth the whipping I received for it.

My parents, esp my da rose me to be strong and speak my mind which I did probably more often then they liked LOL. But he also taught me about the consequences of my actions and most of my punishments I knew damn well I had them coming. I never lied about what I did and to be honest I got out of a lot of my punishments because I owned up to them. My stoopid brothers on the other hand always lied about it and got in more trouble. (I never understood that.)

I don't think it hurt my relationship with my parents. They didn't like punishing me but they had to the only way they knew how. I never resented them for it and it all stopped when I was around 11-12 anyway and they started grounding me and that type of stuff. My mum still slapped me once in a while but one day when I was 14 I stood my ground and stepped towards her after she did and I think she got the idea not to do it again.  My da was a HUGE man and my mum was tiny and I was bigger than her at that point. So it all stopped that day,

I am happy to say I never spanked or struck my own children. Tho all my children, when they were young, were very sweet, loving kids and really didn't get into trouble that often, It was just time outs or go your room. If it was something serious I would take away their toys or fav telly shows. They are all teens now and good kids and rarely have to be punished. Tho my daughter is just now feeling her hormones and I can see we will be butting heads now and again. She's like me tho, very confident and not one to take unfairness lightly.

My mom used to ground me for stupid things, like once she stubbed her toe on a chair in her room and grounded me. Another time she said I could go to a party and literally last minute said I couldn't go anymore because she didn't want me to go. So I got mad because seriously wtf. Then she grounded me.

I mean, I wasn't really a bad kid. I talked back to my mom, but only when she was getting me in trouble for things that didn't make sense (this happened a lot). One time I was grounded for 3 months because she thought I snuck out. I never ever snuck out of my house.

She's a crazy lady, so one day when I was 17, got accepted to university and had to pay it all myself because my mom wanted to go back to school too and wasn't going to help me out, I just stopped listening to ger. It was so liberating. I would leave for entire weekends and she would try to ground me and I just wouldn't listen. I would look her in the eye and say "You can't control me anymore. You have no more power over me. I am going to school in a few months and what are you going to do? I already have to fund my own education. You could kick me out but you and I both know it would make you look bad" Because I wasn't doing anything wrong. I would keep to myself, clean up after myself, and I got good grades.

I have to say Heather that is quite upsetting to me.
I can honestly say I did very little wrong to warrant any discipline.
Instead I feel totally ignored by my mother.

Maybe Cher, maybe.

My mom is quite unapproachable.

Kind of like petting a porcupine.

One wrong move and you pay a price,
wishing you never went there.

If I truly thought any concessions were possible
I would jump at it.

But I don't see it for now.

I'm just hoping time may pave a less rocky road.

My mom is a demonstration of conflictions.


I know now she remains very sexual, which I had discounted.
She can even be a bit kinky.
But, so what!

Her business acumen had made her rigid, even cold at times.

We feel more like employees than family.

She is punctual to a fault, and almost errorless.

But that comes with a toll I guess she is willing to pay, at least for now.

I warned her once that she "can't take it with her" to which she gave me her "cobra eyes" look.

So, as a family we invest more in my dad, and I think that's the way it is likely to remain.

Shell knows . . . and I do as well.

Me too,.,.,.,. and it was me that started it.