what stupid things have you said/done

Comparative Anatomy was part of my college bio elective classes.

So we were required to do a 2 minute oral presentation of a topic of our
choice as part of our grade.

So I chose "eating habits of wolves, dogs, dingoes, and other quadrupeds compared to humans"
for my topic.

Mastication describes a "tearing, chewing" action common in these groups along with humans.

Well, I am certain you can guess what happened.

I substituted "Masturbation" for "Mastication" at least 4 times during my presentation.

I was so embarrassed I actually stammered masturbation again and again.

Students were allowed to ask brief questions of the presenter.

One smart ass, "Alan the Asshole" wanted to see a brief demo of how I "masturbated".

Being ever clever, I assured the class that all the girls considered all the boys,
especially Alan, as far more experienced in that particular art.

Although I was red faced, Alan Asshole suffered far more hoots, hollers, and finger pointing
than I did.