Post by Popcorn&Candy on Feb 9, 2022 15:07:22 GMT -5
I don't like people who stereotype men: like all men are cheating bas*ards or all men are this, that or the other.
In fact, my friend has categorized men this way. She won't get into a relationship because she was - in short - raped. She now doesn't trust men and won't get married. BUT I can understand her stance: rape is an extremely upsetting crime. And my friend went through hell and back. But not all men are rapists. Not all men cheat or beat up their wives. It's deeply unfair that they are categorized in such a way. If we did that to someone who was Chinese or a dark skinned African, people would - rightfully - be up in arms.
I am not a man hater. I do not stereotype ANYONE, either. So why do women every day? Get this right: men are NOT the enemy.
I think any generalizations or absolutes are usually unhealthy. That said, as human beings we can only go by our experiences. If every wasp I have ever encountered tried to sting me it would be very easy (and even possibly valid from my POV) to say all wasps are jerks.
All that said, once we are burned by a group of people we tend to be very gun shy regarding those groups. There does come a point in people lives where taking these generalizations are a defence mechanism that helps them cope with things that have happened in the past.
We also have to remember that some people might be overly sensitive and claim things about others that don't really exist. I will use the man hater example above. I have been an out lesbian since the 80s and mostly I have no issues with men but the very fact that I have turned down dates by men they have labelled me a "man hater". Where in the next lad who asks me out may just apologize and understand gracefully (BTW the latter is the case 99% of the time).
But if we go back to the first lad, in his mind, all lesbians are man haters just because that won't date him. This, relative to him, is a totally valid position but from the women who won't date him it's probably and most likely invalid as one can not date this one particular man and still like men in general.
So many things in life are relative, even if from our own POV some positions seem totally invalid. I think it's important to try to put ourselves in other people's place when they make these generalizations even if they are obviously flawed or outright wrong. If we can understand their position better it helps us understand ours better as well.
We've gotten plenty of trolls who come on here assuming we're all man haters... There's definitely some misconception going on about women only forums. I know some forums for women might talk crap about men a lot, just like some forums for just men may talk crap about women a lot, but we're not really like that here. That was certainly not the goal of joining a women only forum in my mind lol
Sometimes it is difficult to discuss men without being critical. But I'd say the same when discussing women.
Comes from being different I guess.
Speaking for myself I tend to like men. They are usually polite and respectful.
It is remarkable how similar men and women, yet so different...
I have always liked an old line "God thought it would be funny to put two very different species here, and make them have to get together to reproduce."
I'm actually more friendly with men than I am with other women. Or maybe its the other way round.
It does tend to work out that girls bully other girls and boys bully other boys... so that could be why sometimes we get along better with the opposite sex at times.. unless they are the type to bully everyone lol
Last Edit: Feb 10, 2022 13:10:14 GMT -5 by heatherly
Sometimes it is difficult to discuss men without being critical. But I'd say the same when discussing women.
Comes from being different I guess.
Speaking for myself I tend to like men. They are usually polite and respectful.
It is remarkable how similar men and women, yet so different...
I have always liked an old line "God thought it would be funny to put two very different species here, and make them have to get together to reproduce."
I have to admit in my "professional life" when I was doing the corporate climbing the ladder thing, I got on better with most of my male workmates than the women. There were a good amount of exceptions along the way but for the most part it was true.
Post by TestDummyCO on Feb 10, 2022 20:50:42 GMT -5
I generally get along better with men. I've even had two male besties. The first one I had while barely a teen. The other has been my bestie since 2002.
I get along with either although in the long term a predominantly male working environment is not good news.
Very annoyingly, all the women superiors have been complete arses. All the guys have been arses too, but have been much less confrontational.
Though in fairness I do need to point out that if it were not for my last female boss, I would be working full time, and have a much lower quality of life.
I am genuinely in two minds if I met her. Do I poke her in the eye, or give her a warm hug?
I honestly try to get along with everyone and I usually do...
I've had people hate me for no reason, even when I was never mean to them (I was usually the only one nice to them)... just because I SPOKE to people they did not like lol can't please everyone.
I guess I don't "try" to get along with everyone, it just naturally happens most of the time.. if people actually speak to me, but I don't usually speak first, which helps maybe lol I also will not get into a debate with people in person pretty much ever, so that's another thing that helps.
Last Edit: Feb 11, 2022 17:26:48 GMT -5 by heatherly
I honestly try to get along with everyone and I usually do...
I've had people hate me for no reason, even when I was never mean to them (I was usually the only one nice to them)... just because I SPOKE to people they did not like lol can't please everyone.
I guess I don't "try" to get along with everyone, it just naturally happens most of the time.. if people actually speak to me, but I don't usually speak first, which helps maybe lol I also will not get into a debate with people in person pretty much ever, so that's another thing that helps.
I've had people hate me for no reason, even when I was never mean to them (I was usually the only one nice to them)... just because I SPOKE to people they did not like lol can't please everyone.
I guess I don't "try" to get along with everyone, it just naturally happens most of the time.. if people actually speak to me, but I don't usually speak first, which helps maybe lol I also will not get into a debate with people in person pretty much ever, so that's another thing that helps.
EEK!
What sort of person gets along with everybody?
People who don't like to socialize much, less exposure ;p
Most of my really good friends are older white males, then my very good friend are white males. Asian men and women don't seem to care for me that much..lol...my ex was Asian, he divorced me...
Most of my really good friends are older white males, then my very good friend are white males. Asian men and women don't seem to care for me that much..lol...my ex was Asian, he divorced me...
I like 'foreigners' they often have a different pov and are often interesting.
I've had people hate me for no reason, even when I was never mean to them (I was usually the only one nice to them)... just because I SPOKE to people they did not like lol can't please everyone.
I guess I don't "try" to get along with everyone, it just naturally happens most of the time.. if people actually speak to me, but I don't usually speak first, which helps maybe lol I also will not get into a debate with people in person pretty much ever, so that's another thing that helps.
I just try to stay neutral. Unless I think I'm right.
Just think you're right? I have to know I'm right with definitive proof to even go there lol lots of research first... so I won't bother pushing an issue too much if I haven't read about it enough... I'll just give my opinion but leave it at that because there's no point in debating someone based on feelings or personal beliefs xD That's how people get angry.
I honestly try to get along with everyone and I usually do...
I've had people hate me for no reason, even when I was never mean to them (I was usually the only one nice to them)... just because I SPOKE to people they did not like lol can't please everyone.
I guess I don't "try" to get along with everyone, it just naturally happens most of the time.. if people actually speak to me, but I don't usually speak first, which helps maybe lol I also will not get into a debate with people in person pretty much ever, so that's another thing that helps.
I wish I could say I got along with everyone and everyone liked me. Unfortunately, I'd be lying.
I've had people hate me for no reason: maybe because of the way I look. Don't worry: I'm not ugly! But maybe some people don't like my face and make judgements on me because of that. But I have learnt there's no pleasing everyone: everyone is different and some people will clash. That's just the nature of things. That is why I like to increase my personal power: I follow rules, I fit in but I also find my own achievements and my own personal gains. Feeling positive about oneself increases personal power and stops those enemies in their tracks.
I won't go any furthur with this dark topic, but this is how I see it.
Frankly I've never really cared who liked me or who didn't and to be honest the older I get the less I care.. My philosophy is if they don't like me it's their loss.
I have none of these tight wonderful lifelong friendships that lots people have and it doesn't bother me, people drift in and out each one has their story each one has their time..
It's nice to be liked but my thoughts are that you should stay honest to your beliefs. Try to understand other points of view and vary yours if you realise that they have been wrong. I won't budge if I believe I am right but will admit that I do sometimes get it wrong. Really it is in understanding and empathy. There is often no right answer.
a_muppet: Ha, I just spotted you, Noeleena - sneaking in. ::Sgc7Hl4::
Nov 13, 2024 3:58:37 GMT -5
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TestDummyCO: WOF has creaky floors. ::mCOIty6::
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heatherly: ::Sgc7Hl4::
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jen: It's good to know you are still here Noeleena ::Sgc7Hl4::
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Ɖσмιиιc ♰: creaking floors, you make me laugh, Cherry has good eyes huh?
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noeleena: Thank you i do come in allmost every night ,just dont allways have some thing to say ,of cause you know i,m a spy....lol,s.
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MaryContrary: lol hi noeleena!
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MaryContrary: she's like the wof elf on a shelf *giggles*
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