Why do we (as women) always need to explain ourselves?
Apr 30, 2015 11:57:07 GMT -5
heatherly and a_muppet like this
Post by sn000zy on Apr 30, 2015 11:57:07 GMT -5
Today I was reading an article written by a woman who is getting married at 22.
In this article, she is justifying WHY this is ok.
It was a well written article, and she brought up a lot of points but what made me think wasn't the article itself, but the fact that this woman is writing this article to explain her actions.
We women do this a lot. I even had to do a lot of it myself, recently.
I had to explain to my ex why I was no longer going to try for our relationship anymore, even though we were engaged.
Then, I even had to explain why I moved on so quickly with my co-worker. No doubt many people assume I cheated (I didn't... well maybe emotionally but that's a reason why I ended my engagement.) I'm sure I will have to explain all this to my extended family members when they find out about me moving on as well, and if my ex finds out, I'm sure I will have to explain to him.
I also notice you don't really see men justifying their actions, no matter what it is. Marrying young, marrying old, not marrying, moving on too quickly, cheating.
At work, there was this scandal. There was this one couple who had been together 10 years, the man cheated on her with another woman who works at the casino. The woman was scorned more than the man. I don't even think the man was asked to explain himself.
I find even today, men are rarely asked to explain themselves, and women are.
I wanted to tell this woman "You go girl for doing what makes YOU happy. Don't worry about what other people think, it's YOUR life."
I used to always explain myself, even up to this year. But when things started tanking in my engagement, I got tired of explaining. At first, I got tired of justifying WHY I was staying, because I did stay with him much longer than I should have. I am thankful that I have a close group of friends who do not make me explain, they mostly have my side unless things get REAL bad. My one good friend, who always supports me, finally told me I had to leave him after I shared with her how he would make me explain myself when I ate chocolate because I was "getting fat."
With my ex, I always had to explain myself over every thing I did. Why did I sleep in? Why did I stay up late? Why did I eat this? Why did I wear that?
When I decided to leave him, I just took a "haters gonna hate" approach. Whatever. If people want to judge me, it looks bad on them because they have nothing better to care about than MY life choices. Same when I decided to date my new man. We started dating fairly quickly, we could have kept it secret, but why? Keeping it secret wouldn't help anyone, in fact it would probably hurt our relationship.
Now, I do what makes ME happy. I don't make excuses. And even though I am pretty new to this way of thinking, it is changing me for the better. I am happier.
In this article, she is justifying WHY this is ok.
It was a well written article, and she brought up a lot of points but what made me think wasn't the article itself, but the fact that this woman is writing this article to explain her actions.
We women do this a lot. I even had to do a lot of it myself, recently.
I had to explain to my ex why I was no longer going to try for our relationship anymore, even though we were engaged.
Then, I even had to explain why I moved on so quickly with my co-worker. No doubt many people assume I cheated (I didn't... well maybe emotionally but that's a reason why I ended my engagement.) I'm sure I will have to explain all this to my extended family members when they find out about me moving on as well, and if my ex finds out, I'm sure I will have to explain to him.
I also notice you don't really see men justifying their actions, no matter what it is. Marrying young, marrying old, not marrying, moving on too quickly, cheating.
At work, there was this scandal. There was this one couple who had been together 10 years, the man cheated on her with another woman who works at the casino. The woman was scorned more than the man. I don't even think the man was asked to explain himself.
I find even today, men are rarely asked to explain themselves, and women are.
I wanted to tell this woman "You go girl for doing what makes YOU happy. Don't worry about what other people think, it's YOUR life."
I used to always explain myself, even up to this year. But when things started tanking in my engagement, I got tired of explaining. At first, I got tired of justifying WHY I was staying, because I did stay with him much longer than I should have. I am thankful that I have a close group of friends who do not make me explain, they mostly have my side unless things get REAL bad. My one good friend, who always supports me, finally told me I had to leave him after I shared with her how he would make me explain myself when I ate chocolate because I was "getting fat."
With my ex, I always had to explain myself over every thing I did. Why did I sleep in? Why did I stay up late? Why did I eat this? Why did I wear that?
When I decided to leave him, I just took a "haters gonna hate" approach. Whatever. If people want to judge me, it looks bad on them because they have nothing better to care about than MY life choices. Same when I decided to date my new man. We started dating fairly quickly, we could have kept it secret, but why? Keeping it secret wouldn't help anyone, in fact it would probably hurt our relationship.
Now, I do what makes ME happy. I don't make excuses. And even though I am pretty new to this way of thinking, it is changing me for the better. I am happier.
creaking floors, you make me laugh,