my mum called me a 'dragon'

britishbea
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Kisses give her goosebumps, well that's cool I used to tutor braille

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my mum called me a 'dragon' Apr 23, 2015 4:31:35 GMT -5 usmichelle likes this

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Post by britishbea on Apr 23, 2015 4:31:35 GMT -5

I actually didnt know whether to laugh or cry, take it as a joke or an insult!!

my mum wasnt the most or least strict parent, she was easy going but had boundaries and i respected that, i wouldnt swear at my mum but we did have some good arguments, anyway...

Malakai is at a age where he is just so mean, he smacks, nips, scratches, bites, kicks, pulls hair and throws things.
Ive gotten to the point now where i tell him off, i tell him NO in a stern voice and may tap his hand or leg, not to hurt him, just so hes aware hes in trouble, but my mum said im a dragon, hes far too young to be told off. i disagree, if i dont tell him off now and teach him wrong from right i will end up with a 5 year old that goes to nursery and beats everyone up, i dont want that. I dont smack him hard, and i dont shout at him to scare him, i just firmly tell him no and that what he did or is doing is wrong, it obv doesnt affect him because he just laughs and does it again.

I also tell him no when he snatches toys, yes he is very young and he has no idea what sharing even means, but when he is playing with his 3 year old cousin and she takes a toy off him she gets told off, when malakai does it, he doesnt and yet people wonder why she still snatches from him, and why SHE pushes him over, i dont want that for her or M its not fair, so she has to see that M has rules too and snatching is not acceptable.
does that make me a dragon or a strict mum? i think not.. what do you think?

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice then sit back and watch as the world wonders how you did it.

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ‘til tomorrow For babies grow up we've learnt to our sorrow, So quiet down cobwebs Dust go to sleep I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep

a_muppet
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my mum called me a 'dragon' Apr 23, 2015 12:52:09 GMT -5 britishbea likes this

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Post by a_muppet on Apr 23, 2015 12:52:09 GMT -5

People are different, so their definitions are different I wouldn't call you a dragon, but I apreciate there are softer people than you. I also wouldn't call you a softy either, because there are plenty stricter than you.

Personally, I reckon your standards are perfectly reasonable.

To me the most important thing is to be consistent. I believe that children like to know the rules, and they like them to be applied consistently.

My daughter said to me that I was always consistent, and fair. My ex, couldn't cope with her as she was headstrong, some days I would come home from work to find my daughter was grounded for 9 months.

That was never going to happen and she knew it.

I would ground her for 1 day, then ask her if she was going for 2 days. She was very rarely grounded for more than 2 days.

She still has little respect for the ex.

Caution, I am feral.

heatherly
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my mum called me a 'dragon' Apr 23, 2015 14:14:38 GMT -5 a_muppet and britishbea like this

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Post by heatherly on Apr 23, 2015 14:14:38 GMT -5

I don't know what she meant by that... but she isn't his mom, you are!

Do what you believe is best... it's not like you are hurting him! He does need to know boundaries and right from wrong.

jengurl1987 Elite Member I Posts: 5,544	my mum called me a 'dragon' Apr 23, 2015 14:21:24 GMT -5 a_muppet and britishbea like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by jengurl1987 on Apr 23, 2015 14:21:24 GMT -5 Decent discipline is vital if you want a child to become a responsible adult. My idea of "decent" is exactly what you are doing with Malakai.

britishbea
Honored Member

Kisses give her goosebumps, well that's cool I used to tutor braille

Posts: 996

my mum called me a 'dragon' Apr 24, 2015 5:18:03 GMT -5

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Post by britishbea on Apr 24, 2015 5:18:03 GMT -5

i dont think my mum was getting at me.
It started because we was at my mums and he kept opening the drawers and the cooker, i kept telling him no and moving him away, i did this like 100 times, then my dad told him no and moved him away my mum said 'oh dont you tell him off like that, its bad enough hes got his dragon mum telling him off all the time' my dad replied 'if thats what she wants to do with him, so be it, ill tell him off too, he needs to learn' thank you dad!!! someone on my side lol.
my mum wasnt strict but she wasnt soft either, i have respect for my mum, i dont swear in front of her, but we can argue like no tomorrow, i guess because he is her first biological grandchild (my dad has 3 grandkids) she is bound to be a softy.
Yes everyone does have different parenting styles and i got a awful look the other day in the supermarket, i was holding malakai in my arms and he smacked my face so i took his hand and told him NO, the woman who heard me didnt like it by the look of her face, i dont care, id much rather tell him off than stand letting him slap me in the face and i wont put up with him doing it to other kids because he isnt told otherwise.

and i agree Cher, children do like to be given boundaries, my OHs niece and nephew crave it, but dont get it, when they are at my house however, the 'dragon' in me and my OH soon enough comes out, they arent naughty kids, they are just kids, but they play up, for example, i can tell his niece a million times to leave Malakai's toys alone and not take them from him (she is 8) but she will still do it, they play up alot because they have little to no dicipline at home

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice then sit back and watch as the world wonders how you did it.

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ‘til tomorrow For babies grow up we've learnt to our sorrow, So quiet down cobwebs Dust go to sleep I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep

usmichelle
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my mum called me a 'dragon' Apr 24, 2015 8:11:57 GMT -5 britishbea likes this

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Post by usmichelle on Apr 24, 2015 8:11:57 GMT -5

Apr 23, 2015 4:31:35 GMT -5 britishbea said:

I actually didnt know whether to laugh or cry, take it as a joke or an insult!!

my mum wasnt the most or least strict parent, she was easy going but had boundaries and i respected that, i wouldnt swear at my mum but we did have some good arguments, anyway...

Malakai is at a age where he is just so mean, he smacks, nips, scratches, bites, kicks, pulls hair and throws things.
Ive gotten to the point now where i tell him off, i tell him NO in a stern voice and may tap his hand or leg, not to hurt him, just so hes aware hes in trouble, but my mum said im a dragon, hes far too young to be told off. i disagree, if i dont tell him off now and teach him wrong from right i will end up with a 5 year old that goes to nursery and beats everyone up, i dont want that. I dont smack him hard, and i dont shout at him to scare him, i just firmly tell him no and that what he did or is doing is wrong, it obv doesnt affect him because he just laughs and does it again.

I also tell him no when he snatches toys, yes he is very young and he has no idea what sharing even means, but when he is playing with his 3 year old cousin and she takes a toy off him she gets told off, when malakai does it, he doesnt and yet people wonder why she still snatches from him, and why SHE pushes him over, i dont want that for her or M its not fair, so she has to see that M has rules too and snatching is not acceptable.
does that make me a dragon or a strict mum? i think not.. what do you think?

Kids are a challenge, and they are all not the same.

I took sitting classes at our YMCA and learned a lot of control techniques.

Boy tend to be more active, even destructive, than girls.

Just not always.

The key is to not over punish them.

No hitting or striking, ever.

Trust is earned over time, and they will listen better.

4 or 5 seems to be a big turning point for boys.

Girls can be mean in a different way.

My youngest sister cut all the hair off my favorite doll when we were little bc she was mad at me.

I wanted to cut her throat.

Fortunately I cool down pretty quick.

Still, there is no perfect way to raise kids.

Lots of love. Lots!

Peace!

a_muppet
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Posts: 35,017

my mum called me a 'dragon' Apr 24, 2015 13:38:35 GMT -5

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Post by a_muppet on Apr 24, 2015 13:38:35 GMT -5

Apr 24, 2015 8:11:57 GMT -5 usmichelle said:

Apr 23, 2015 4:31:35 GMT -5 britishbea said:

I actually didnt know whether to laugh or cry, take it as a joke or an insult!!

my mum wasnt the most or least strict parent, she was easy going but had boundaries and i respected that, i wouldnt swear at my mum but we did have some good arguments, anyway...

Malakai is at a age where he is just so mean, he smacks, nips, scratches, bites, kicks, pulls hair and throws things.
Ive gotten to the point now where i tell him off, i tell him NO in a stern voice and may tap his hand or leg, not to hurt him, just so hes aware hes in trouble, but my mum said im a dragon, hes far too young to be told off. i disagree, if i dont tell him off now and teach him wrong from right i will end up with a 5 year old that goes to nursery and beats everyone up, i dont want that. I dont smack him hard, and i dont shout at him to scare him, i just firmly tell him no and that what he did or is doing is wrong, it obv doesnt affect him because he just laughs and does it again.

I also tell him no when he snatches toys, yes he is very young and he has no idea what sharing even means, but when he is playing with his 3 year old cousin and she takes a toy off him she gets told off, when malakai does it, he doesnt and yet people wonder why she still snatches from him, and why SHE pushes him over, i dont want that for her or M its not fair, so she has to see that M has rules too and snatching is not acceptable.
does that make me a dragon or a strict mum? i think not.. what do you think?

Kids are a challenge, and they are all not the same.

I took sitting classes at our YMCA and learned a lot of control techniques.

Boy tend to be more active, even destructive, than girls.

Just not always.

The key is to not over punish them.

No hitting or striking, ever.

Trust is earned over time, and they will listen better.

4 or 5 seems to be a big turning point for boys.

Girls can be mean in a different way.

My youngest sister cut all the hair off my favorite doll when we were little bc she was mad at me.

I wanted to cut her throat.

Fortunately I cool down pretty quick.

Still, there is no perfect way to raise kids.

Lots of love. Lots!

LMAO

I believe you too.

Caution, I am feral.

a_muppet
Global Moderator

Posts: 35,017

my mum called me a 'dragon' Apr 24, 2015 13:42:26 GMT -5

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Post by a_muppet on Apr 24, 2015 13:42:26 GMT -5

I don't approve of violence on children, but after a few tellings off for biting me, my daughter got the message.

She still talks of how stunned she was, when I actually bit her arm to show her what it was like.

Her face was a picture, initially shocked, then burst into tears.

There were tears running down my face as I comforted her. I just couldn't let her see that.

Even now, I feel a little choked.

Caution, I am feral.

usmichelle
Prominent Member

Read, Learn, Read it Again, Learn More

Posts: 4,412

my mum called me a 'dragon' Apr 24, 2015 15:40:31 GMT -5

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Post by usmichelle on Apr 24, 2015 15:40:31 GMT -5

Apr 24, 2015 13:42:26 GMT -5 a_muppet said:

I don't approve of violence on children, but after a few tellings off for biting me, my daughter got the message.

She still talks of how stunned she was, when I actually bit her arm to show her what it was like.

Her face was a picture, initially shocked, then burst into tears.

There were tears running down my face as I comforted her. I just couldn't let her see that.

Even now, I feel a little choked.

hahahaha

I never did that yet..

Here you can actually get arrested for some stuff.

I did tap a boy's soft spot once like in 5th grade and got sent home.

But he never messed with me again.

hahaha

Peace!