Toxic or not?: GFs with the same interests as you! (G)
Mar 24, 2024 23:56:05 GMT -5
heatherly and a_muppet like this
Post by akindredspirit on Mar 24, 2024 23:56:05 GMT -5
Hi! I wanted to ask other women's opinion on this subject.
Everytime I found something useful or applicable to my ex-bestfriend's interests, passions, needs, I'd also share with them, even though our interests might overlap. For example, since we were both interested in writing, if I found a good book on writing, I would share it with her knowing that she'd benefit from it as well! I thought it would also be exciting to partake in the same things.
However, there were times when she would share something that she was into, even though she's not necessarily sharing it to me (like telling me I should give it a try, or I should look into to it), and I would be interested to check it out! For example, one Christmas, she told me that she was getting this wonderfully juicy YA novel that had a mysterious vibe! She sounded so happy and excited about it, that I looked into it, and I wanted to read it as well! I told her that we should read it together (we had a book club at the time), and I asked to get it for Christmas too. I was so happy to read it with her, and she seemed excited about it as well! However, she later admitted to me a couple months later that she didn't like how I got the same book because she was into it first.
Another example is that we used Goodreads together, and I asked her last summer multiple times what she was reading because I haven't seen her post anything. I've been posting a lot on Goodreads, so I didn't see a lot of activity from her. She said that she was reading very slowly, but she later admitted after summer had ended that the reason why she didn't post on Goodreads was because she didn't want me to see what she was reading.
Again, there are countless other examples where she would specifically withdraw resources or anything from me if it was a common interest between us. Or she would later admit to me that she didn't like how I liked the same thing as her, or I got the same thing as her.
I guess my question to anyone who reads this is if it's toxic to try the same things your girl-friends or girl best friend is trying. Obviously not to steal their identity but because it's a genuine interest of yours. Or are you supposed to keep this stuff on the down-low? Or withhold telling your friends if you have the same interests as them?
I hope to hear other people's experiences because my ex-bestfriend was the only close female friend I've ever really had growing up (we've known each other since 5th grade). I had to cut things off unfortunately because of some behaviors I noticed...
Everytime I found something useful or applicable to my ex-bestfriend's interests, passions, needs, I'd also share with them, even though our interests might overlap. For example, since we were both interested in writing, if I found a good book on writing, I would share it with her knowing that she'd benefit from it as well! I thought it would also be exciting to partake in the same things.
However, there were times when she would share something that she was into, even though she's not necessarily sharing it to me (like telling me I should give it a try, or I should look into to it), and I would be interested to check it out! For example, one Christmas, she told me that she was getting this wonderfully juicy YA novel that had a mysterious vibe! She sounded so happy and excited about it, that I looked into it, and I wanted to read it as well! I told her that we should read it together (we had a book club at the time), and I asked to get it for Christmas too. I was so happy to read it with her, and she seemed excited about it as well! However, she later admitted to me a couple months later that she didn't like how I got the same book because she was into it first.
Another example is that we used Goodreads together, and I asked her last summer multiple times what she was reading because I haven't seen her post anything. I've been posting a lot on Goodreads, so I didn't see a lot of activity from her. She said that she was reading very slowly, but she later admitted after summer had ended that the reason why she didn't post on Goodreads was because she didn't want me to see what she was reading.
Again, there are countless other examples where she would specifically withdraw resources or anything from me if it was a common interest between us. Or she would later admit to me that she didn't like how I liked the same thing as her, or I got the same thing as her.
I guess my question to anyone who reads this is if it's toxic to try the same things your girl-friends or girl best friend is trying. Obviously not to steal their identity but because it's a genuine interest of yours. Or are you supposed to keep this stuff on the down-low? Or withhold telling your friends if you have the same interests as them?
I hope to hear other people's experiences because my ex-bestfriend was the only close female friend I've ever really had growing up (we've known each other since 5th grade). I had to cut things off unfortunately because of some behaviors I noticed...
::Sgc7Hl4::