The Core of Transphobia: Hidden Misogyny

During the past few days there has been something that I have really been examining and discussing this with someone who I have gotten to know well has sort of left me open to make this realization that has let to feelings of liberation. Such a realization that concerns the very nature of transphobia. One that dictates that the very essence of transphobia may not be something all to itself but a consequence of the neglect given to an age old problem in western society if not societies around the world. The realization that transphobia is disguised misogyny.

One of the influences that lead me to draw this conclusion is a video posted on the social media platform, TikTok, about a trans woman who shaves her face. I found myself feeling offended by this video only because it feels like it furthers the belief that face shaving is exclusive to trans women and cis men by default. The reality is that there are cisgender women in this world who shave their face and sometimes grow enough facial hair to be considered a beard. The someone I alluded to earlier is one of those cisgender women who feel like face shaving is a part of their self-care routine. On days when she doesn't shave, she feels more reluctant to leave the house or go without a face mask to cover it up since the pandemic has made it more socially understandable to wear one. This allows her to empathize with a lot of trans women who feel the same way concerning their facial hair.

It was then when I started to think about how a lot of transphobic arguments online share this one single piece of rhetoric. They make assumptions about women. Who are the women they are referring to? It is clear they do not refer to trans women for that is who they argue against, but it is cis women who they try to speak for. The arguer, who more often than not is a cis man, would sometimes feel as if they are a defender of women without ever giving consideration to the views and opinions of women. This is likely caused by the lessons past down to men in their upbringing that festers toxic masculinity. It is always important to stand up for the rights of someone, but it is also important to make sure their voices are heard and not neglected to allow for the conjunction of lies to further an agenda. This is why with the heavy focus on the transgender and non-binary movements in the media stirs up so much controversy as hopefully it will allow us to realize just how badly damaged we are as a society. In essence, trans women don't get respect, because there is a lack of respect for cis women and all due to these toxic ideals passed down to men. And at some point I have a feeling that women could only go so far in trying to aid men in repairing these damages. At some point, men are going to have to come together to examine their own beliefs and values then work to bring equality and equity to all biological sex and gender identities. The path toward such outcomes isn't in the hands of just women, but also in the hands of men as well for they too have been effected.

And such misogynistic ideas have crept into the transgender community as well. Not in the perspective of a Trans Exclusive Radical Feminist (TERF) who fail to make such realizations, but in the general sense that beauty standards, acceptable fashion, and verbal/body language to name a few allowed these trans women to feel dysphoric to not have been taught this in their youth. What TERFs fail to realize is that a lot of the problems that cisgender women face are then passed over to what transgender women face. Dysphoria from face shaving is one of those things that many trans women feel yet at the same time probably don't realize that some cisgender women do the very same. This also got me thinking about what the exclusive social struggles between cisgender and transgender women as well and honestly it really does feel like they form a symbiont circle. What affects one affects the other. The biological differences is clear and often times used to discredit trans women, but at the same time not very exclusive to trans women.

I think I have also been examining just why I am still getting dysphoric feelings myself and I think I am starting to realize that these feelings tend to stem from things that are unchangeable. Larger bone structure causing larger bodies, male ribcages, and a lack of a reproductive system seem to be the root of my dysphoria nowadays besides the one thing that can change but have to jump through loops just to get such a procedure done. The rest of things are what I imagine all women (cis or trans) go through due to societal expectations passed down to women. I remember reading stories and watching videos of cisgender women who are infertile and how they deal with knowing they are infertile (even included a trans women for inclusivity). This brought comfort to me knowing that I am not alone. I remember being told that some cisgender women can't get periods. This too has brought me some sense of comfort that I am not alone. Reading and hearing about how these women learned that this wasn't something defines them was truly inspirational. Filled me with a sense of pride in who I am. Something that seems difficult to do, but then again, my gender identity was something I felt settled with a long time ago.

I think this is the reason why I don't identify as a transgender women. I'm not found of the term cisgender either. Dysphoria is something that there is no cure unless science could one day find a miracle that could alter the biological data that determines which sex we become at birth. There will only ever really be treatments and management strategies for how to tame it. I always knew that gender was a socially constructed concept, but now I truly feel like I understand why. Despite such outdated gender roles be instilled into us during periods of human history where they seemed practical. There were also those unsatisfied about the role they play and that was the birth of gender. Gender will always be something that women like myself (and those who were assigned female at birth) will always have to cope with the crippling effects that comes with gender dysphoria. This is probably why "transgender" and "trans" are major triggers of my dysphoria because they feel like labels society gave to me to categorize me into something that just isn't me. The only time I would ever reference the cis/trans dichotomy is when it is necessary in explaining my situation and that is really only when dealing with medical or legal means or when expressing my personal feelings on this subject as I am doing now with this post.

I have no idea why but I feel like I gained an understanding of things when I accepted that transphobia stems from the ancient devil known as misogyny and in a sense that fills me up with pride knowing who I am. I will never not feel ashamed for being a woman. I will always stand with pride for who I am. I will always fight for the rights of women and men who support them, because the good men out there will always stand up for those oppressed by society and will always support their girl when it comes to these complicated social issues. Though within reason as everyone should always look out for themselves and set their own personal boundaries. Something I have difficulties with myself. But I will fight. I will fight for myself. I will fight for women. I will fight for men. I will fight for anyone out there who is struggling or have been affected by injustice. I... I... finally feel a sense of pride in myself.