Congratulations, you are now in the Friendzone

I wrote a blog about this on the old forum, and I don't feel like going there to retrieve it because I fear simply visiting the page will infect my computer with a virus, so this is sort of a continuation but not really.

Guys complain a lot about being in the friendzone.  I think girls complain about it sometimes as well, but I haven't really seen it.  Personally, I have decided I hate the friendzone because it makes it awkward for everyone involved.  

The friendzone doesn't necessarily need to be verbally established, many times it's the simple actions that make it obvious there is one.

When I was single and going through a rough break up, I had a male friend who was there for me.  He was going through a separation with his on again off again wife, and I think they are actually back together now but I haven't talked to him.  He knew me forever.  I once dated a guy like him and I knew I would never again put myself in that situation.  He knew this.  I tried to never send mixed signals to let him know that he is my FRIEND and my FRIEND only, but he still professed his feelings for me.

That, in itself is ok.  I mean, we were both "single" in complicated situations, and I think it is important to get your feelings out there, but when I told him I didn't feel the same things got weird and he stopped talking to me.

That is not ok, that sends me the message that if I don't want to sleep with you, I am not worth talking to.  Since then, we haven't talked.  He knew I bought a house with my boyfriend, he knew I got engaged... no congratulations, just silence.  If he was really my friend first, he would have taken the time to express happiness for me.  But whatever, this rant isn't really about him anyway.

I have this friend I have worked with for a couple of years.  We started together.  When we started, we were both single.  If I wanted to date him, I could have, but I didn't because I was not interested in him romantically.  I thought he was a cool guy though.

Anyway, throughout our career together we have had pretty good friendly conversations, he talked to me about girls he liked, and other random things.  Just a cool guy.  He knows I am engaged.  Something he doesn't know though is they problems I am having with my fiance.  I try to make a point not to tell guys about my relationship problems because I feel it sends the wrong message.

So, in his world, I am happy with this man.

Then one day we were chatting and he was clearly hitting on me.  I was venting about a jerk customer and he was telling me how I should let it roll of my beautiful shoulders and how beautiful and awesome I am and how much he doesn't like my fiance.

Anyway, this really bothered me.  Why does he have to be like this?  Why do you have to make it weird?  I mean, first of all I think it is inappropriate.  He knows I am engaged, and as far as he knows I am HAPPILY engaged.  Even if I wasn't, you really shouldn't be saying stuff like that.  

Now I am a little weirded out, and a little offended.  I know I should talk to him about it but honestly I just want to pretend it never happened.

It sucks cuz he is an awesome guy and I want to be his friend, but I find once the friendzone has been established, it's game over.