Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real?

alsr
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 14, 2022 15:04:12 GMT -5 Rebecca Jo, jen, and 2 more like this

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Post by alsr on Sept 14, 2022 15:04:12 GMT -5

Candy, losing a real friend is sad but if all that person needs from you is someone to hang out with or talk to when she is bored then you have no obligation toward her at all. I would rather have quality over quantity, 5 real friends over 50 acquaintances.

Popcorn&Candy
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 15, 2022 4:28:34 GMT -5

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Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 15, 2022 4:28:34 GMT -5

Thank you, alsr. But I am now friends with Vicky again. She had thought I'd betrayed her: when in all honesty I hadn't. She quickly realized this when I spoke to her last night.

We've sorted things out now and I am very glad to be her friend again.

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Popcorn&Candy
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 15, 2022 4:29:42 GMT -5 alsr likes this

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Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 15, 2022 4:29:42 GMT -5

Sept 14, 2022 15:01:11 GMT -5 alsr said:

Real friendship does not need favors but real friends should be able to count on each other otherwise, they are just social acquaintances, not real friends.

I agree with this. You're a wise one, alsr.

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alsr
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 15, 2022 10:09:16 GMT -5 a_muppet likes this

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Post by alsr on Sept 15, 2022 10:09:16 GMT -5

Sept 15, 2022 4:29:42 GMT -5 Popcorn&Candy said:

Sept 14, 2022 15:01:11 GMT -5 alsr said:

Real friendship does not need favors but real friends should be able to count on each other otherwise, they are just social acquaintances, not real friends.

I agree with this. You're a wise one, alsr.

Thanks Candy, I had my share of what I mentioned. I used to have a few who were only interested in shopping and eating out every weekend, the minute I told them I need time for hubby too, they rarely contacted me. It has been 8 years, I don't miss them.

a_muppet
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 15, 2022 11:38:17 GMT -5

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Post by a_muppet on Sept 15, 2022 11:38:17 GMT -5

Sept 15, 2022 10:09:16 GMT -5 alsr said:

Sept 15, 2022 4:29:42 GMT -5 Popcorn&Candy said:

I agree with this. You're a wise one, alsr.

Thanks Candy, I had my share of what I mentioned. I used to have a few who were only interested in shopping and eating out every weekend, the minute I told them I need time for hubby too, they rarely contacted me. It has been 8 years, I don't miss them.

Pfff glad to see the back of them.

Caution, I am feral.

Popcorn&Candy
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 16, 2022 3:04:13 GMT -5

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Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 16, 2022 3:04:13 GMT -5

Sept 15, 2022 10:09:16 GMT -5 alsr said:

I don't miss them.

When I look back at past friendships I always wonder what could've been if we'd stayed in touch. Would they attend a wedding with me? Would they go to my regular nightclub with me? What would've been? It is sad, but I am glad to have had the friendships I had in the past. Even though we're not in touch, I'll always remember them.

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jen
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 17, 2022 3:13:38 GMT -5 kjay and Rebecca Jo like this

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Post by jen on Sept 17, 2022 3:13:38 GMT -5

I think people drift off in different directions. It is interesting as, in recent years, I have come across several old school friends. It's a funny feeling as I feel close to them but in a distant sort of way. Perhaps it's like sharing a trauma (

). You always have some kind of real bond even though you live completely apart.

a_muppet
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 17, 2022 3:20:20 GMT -5

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Post by a_muppet on Sept 17, 2022 3:20:20 GMT -5

Sept 17, 2022 3:13:38 GMT -5 jen said:

I think people drift off in different directions. It is interesting as, in recent years, I have come across several old school friends. It's a funny feeling as I feel close to them but in a distant sort of way. Perhaps it's like sharing a trauma (

). You always have some kind of real bond even though you live completely apart.

I do get where you are coming from, but for me, they are long gone, and I may cross the road to speak to them, but probably not.

Caution, I am feral.

jen
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 17, 2022 3:25:07 GMT -5

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Post by jen on Sept 17, 2022 3:25:07 GMT -5

Sept 17, 2022 3:20:20 GMT -5 a_muppet said:

Sept 17, 2022 3:13:38 GMT -5 jen said:

I think people drift off in different directions. It is interesting as, in recent years, I have come across several old school friends. It's a funny feeling as I feel close to them but in a distant sort of way. Perhaps it's like sharing a trauma (

). You always have some kind of real bond even though you live completely apart.

I do get where you are coming from, but for me, they are long gone, and I may cross the road to speak to them, but probably not.

Yes, I've come across your view before. I take a middle approach and don't go out of my way just to stay in touch. Times change but good friends still are years later, even without contact.

kjay
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 17, 2022 5:20:53 GMT -5 a_muppet, alsr, and 1 more like this

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Post by kjay on Sept 17, 2022 5:20:53 GMT -5

Sept 17, 2022 3:13:38 GMT -5 jen said:

I think people drift off in different directions. It is interesting as, in recent years, I have come across several old school friends. It's a funny feeling as I feel close to them but in a distant sort of way. Perhaps it's like sharing a trauma (

). You always have some kind of real bond even though you live completely apart.

When I was still back north I would run into a couple of my friends from time to time but we never really connected like we used too. Now being down in Florida I never see any of them although we keep in touch every once in awhile. Sometimes a call but mostly by text.

Chase your dreams. In high heels of course.

alsr
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 17, 2022 9:21:42 GMT -5 a_muppet, kjay, and 1 more like this

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Post by alsr on Sept 17, 2022 9:21:42 GMT -5

Sept 17, 2022 5:20:53 GMT -5 kjay said:

Sept 17, 2022 3:13:38 GMT -5 jen said:

I think people drift off in different directions. It is interesting as, in recent years, I have come across several old school friends. It's a funny feeling as I feel close to them but in a distant sort of way. Perhaps it's like sharing a trauma (

). You always have some kind of real bond even though you live completely apart.

When I was still back north I would run into a couple of my friends from time to time but we never really connected like we used too. Now being down in Florida I never see any of them although we keep in touch every once in awhile. Sometimes a call but mostly by text.

That's how life is. This is why I treasure my little circle of friends.

Popcorn&Candy Rare Member Posts: 11,371	Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 18, 2022 2:58:01 GMT -5 cassie, kjay, and 2 more like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 18, 2022 2:58:01 GMT -5 My friends at my local social clubs are my lifeline: they keep me connected with the world. I wouldn't be without them.
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jen
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 19, 2022 3:32:18 GMT -5 kjay, alsr, and 2 more like this

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Post by jen on Sept 19, 2022 3:32:18 GMT -5

Sept 18, 2022 2:58:01 GMT -5 Popcorn&Candy said:

My friends at my local social clubs are my lifeline: they keep me connected with the world. I wouldn't be without them.

Your post brings me back to something I sometimes think about. That there are lots of social circles about all living in their own little world interfacing with the world at large. It's almost like atoms. The electrons race around outside the nucleus and sometimes one, or more, will jump off and go to another atom. An electron from elsewhere will come in to replace it.

A scientific view of a social club?

Just ignore my abstract ramblings of a Monday morning.

I'm glad you have a good club to go to and enjoy yourself.

Popcorn&Candy Rare Member Posts: 11,371	Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 19, 2022 10:02:49 GMT -5 alsr and jen like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 19, 2022 10:02:49 GMT -5 Thank you, jen.
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alsr
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 20, 2022 23:03:47 GMT -5

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Post by alsr on Sept 20, 2022 23:03:47 GMT -5

Sept 18, 2022 2:58:01 GMT -5 Popcorn&Candy said:

My friends at my local social clubs are my lifeline: they keep me connected with the world. I wouldn't be without them.

I am glad that you have a connection that you enjoy, Candy.

Popcorn&Candy
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 21, 2022 11:20:33 GMT -5

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Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 21, 2022 11:20:33 GMT -5

Thank you, alsr.

Sometimes I feel very lonely, but when I go to my social club I feel whole again. I don't like being alone all the time: I need to be around people. But - sometimes - people accidentally hurt my feelings. They certainly don't intend to, but I don't tell them that they have. I guess I just have to adapt and let it go.

But I have been feeling down recently. I do normal things, but I've been in bed too long all week.

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jen
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 21, 2022 12:06:31 GMT -5 a_muppet, Rebecca Jo, and 1 more like this

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Post by jen on Sept 21, 2022 12:06:31 GMT -5

Sept 21, 2022 11:20:33 GMT -5 Popcorn&Candy said:

Thank you, alsr.

Sometimes I feel very lonely, but when I go to my social club I feel whole again. I don't like being alone all the time: I need to be around people. But - sometimes - people accidentally hurt my feelings. They certainly don't intend to, but I don't tell them that they have. I guess I just have to adapt and let it go.

But I have been feeling down recently. I do normal things, but I've been in bed too long all week.

Just a thought Candy. Are the local libraries round your area run on a voluntary basis, as ours are here? I just wonder if you might like to get involved as maybe you would like it with your knowledge of literature plus the contact with people working with things you are confident with.

alsr Elite Member III Posts: 7,921	Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 21, 2022 18:17:02 GMT -5 a_muppet, kjay, and 2 more like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by alsr on Sept 21, 2022 18:17:02 GMT -5 If they are not real with me, they are not my friends, so the answer is, no I don't think my friends are not real.

Popcorn&Candy Rare Member Posts: 11,371	Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 22, 2022 10:28:21 GMT -5 alsr likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 22, 2022 10:28:21 GMT -5 Friends often show their true colours, alsr. So if they are real, then you're right: they ARE real.
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alsr
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 22, 2022 12:14:23 GMT -5 a_muppet and Popcorn&Candy like this

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Post by alsr on Sept 22, 2022 12:14:23 GMT -5

Sept 22, 2022 10:28:21 GMT -5 Popcorn&Candy said:

Friends often show their true colours, alsr. So if they are real, then you're right: they ARE real.

In my entire life, I have had to let some friendship go about 2,3 times so that's not bad.

Even when I was at my young age, I was already in the mindset of not bothering with problematic people regardless of how fun they were, I don't like people who intentionally or ignorantly got themselves into troubles, I also don't like people who don't understand what friendship means.

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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 22, 2022 14:13:43 GMT -5 a_muppet likes this

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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2022 14:13:43 GMT -5

Aug 27, 2022 9:09:04 GMT -5 emily91 said:

the very few friends I have (on account of being an intrivert), are very onesided friends

so when they want something from me, they'll be all over me and wanting help, but when it's reversed and I'm in need, I don't have anyone
my best friend is an online friend from florida. we've never met in person, but he has sent me an angel (which is nice), and he helps me with my issues- so, for example, if I've had a hard night thinking about my abuse, he doesn't mind if I tell him about it the next morning- and he always knows what to say to make me feel good.

"the very few friends I have (on account of being an intrivert), are very onesided friends
so when they want something from me, they'll be all over me and wanting help, but when it's reversed and I'm in need, I don't have anyone"

Same here

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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 22, 2022 14:20:28 GMT -5 a_muppet and cassie like this

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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2022 14:20:28 GMT -5

Aug 30, 2022 2:02:50 GMT -5 cassie said:

Yesterday whle at physio we were chatting and the physio asked me if I will mind moving away from friends... I actually said 'pardon'?

She repeated herself and I had to just say 'oh no it will be ok'...

What I wanted to say was what friends? The ones who turn up when they want something? Call when they need a favour? Come here for tea and 'some of that nice jam you make' but never bring anything in exchange ( not even empty pots) didnt even offer to help or walk my dogs when OH was in hospital after his heart attack???

No I wont miss any of them in fact Im not giving them our new address.

That's what I mean...they want you when it's convenient for them. And only if they need something from you. I don't like that. I'm not here to be used.

Deleted Deleted Member Posts: 0	Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 22, 2022 14:31:16 GMT -5 a_muppet, cassie, and 4 more like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2022 14:31:16 GMT -5 You girls have been better friends to me here on this site than most of the people in my life for the past 56 yrs. I am glad for it.

Popcorn&Candy
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 22, 2022 15:05:57 GMT -5 Rebecca Jo likes this

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Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 22, 2022 15:05:57 GMT -5

We ARE your friends, Mary: that will always be true.

Being used is horrible, but I don't tend to give, give, give: no matter how needy the person. I will help: but I won't sacrifice myself. We all have our own lessons to learn, but I am not helping someone learn their lesson through me.

It isn't my fault how others behave: it isn't any of our faults. Sure: making mistakes has its consequences, but that doesn't to mean we are to blame for other people's issues and problems. So: no guilt, ladies.

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a_muppet
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 22, 2022 17:08:55 GMT -5 alsr likes this

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Post by a_muppet on Sept 22, 2022 17:08:55 GMT -5

Sept 22, 2022 12:14:23 GMT -5 alsr said:

Sept 22, 2022 10:28:21 GMT -5 Popcorn&Candy said:

Friends often show their true colours, alsr. So if they are real, then you're right: they ARE real.

In my entire life, I have had to let some friendship go about 2,3 times so that's not bad.

Even when I was at my young age, I was already in the mindset of not bothering with problematic people regardless of how fun they were, I don't like people who intentionally or ignorantly got themselves into troubles, I also don't like people who don't understand what friendship means.

Good for you, Annie. I can't deny that I have made some bad choices for friends as a teenager. Hormones maybe?

Caution, I am feral.

a_muppet
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 22, 2022 17:27:13 GMT -5 Popcorn&Candy likes this

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Post by a_muppet on Sept 22, 2022 17:27:13 GMT -5

Sept 22, 2022 14:31:16 GMT -5 @mary said:

You girls have been better friends to me here on this site than most of the people in my life for the past 56 yrs. I am glad for it.

Caution, I am feral.

alsr
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 22, 2022 18:04:36 GMT -5 a_muppet likes this

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Post by alsr on Sept 22, 2022 18:04:36 GMT -5

Sept 22, 2022 17:08:55 GMT -5 a_muppet said:

Sept 22, 2022 12:14:23 GMT -5 alsr said:

In my entire life, I have had to let some friendship go about 2,3 times so that's not bad.

Even when I was at my young age, I was already in the mindset of not bothering with problematic people regardless of how fun they were, I don't like people who intentionally or ignorantly got themselves into troubles, I also don't like people who don't understand what friendship means.

Good for you, Annie. I can't deny that I have made some bad choices for friends as a teenager. Hormones maybe?

I think you had a lot more fun than I did, Cherry:)

kjay
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 22, 2022 18:43:00 GMT -5 Popcorn&Candy likes this

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Post by kjay on Sept 22, 2022 18:43:00 GMT -5

Sept 22, 2022 14:31:16 GMT -5 @mary said:

You girls have been better friends to me here on this site than most of the people in my life for the past 56 yrs. I am glad for it.

Chase your dreams. In high heels of course.

jen Rare Member Posts: 12,738	Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 23, 2022 3:05:46 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by jen on Sept 23, 2022 3:05:46 GMT -5 Sept 22, 2022 14:31:16 GMT -5 @mary said: You girls have been better friends to me here on this site than most of the people in my life for the past 56 yrs. I am glad for it.

a_muppet
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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real? Sept 23, 2022 3:09:03 GMT -5 alsr and jen like this

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Post by a_muppet on Sept 23, 2022 3:09:03 GMT -5

Sept 22, 2022 18:04:36 GMT -5 alsr said:

Sept 22, 2022 17:08:55 GMT -5 a_muppet said:

Good for you, Annie. I can't deny that I have made some bad choices for friends as a teenager. Hormones maybe?

I think you had a lot more fun than I did, Cherry:)

Maybe, but I am sure I had to pay for it.

Caution, I am feral.

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Do you sometimes feel your friends are not real?

Post by alsr on Sept 14, 2022 15:04:12 GMT -5

Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 15, 2022 4:28:34 GMT -5

Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 15, 2022 4:29:42 GMT -5

Post by alsr on Sept 15, 2022 10:09:16 GMT -5

Post by a_muppet on Sept 15, 2022 11:38:17 GMT -5

Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 16, 2022 3:04:13 GMT -5

Post by jen on Sept 17, 2022 3:13:38 GMT -5

Post by a_muppet on Sept 17, 2022 3:20:20 GMT -5

Post by jen on Sept 17, 2022 3:25:07 GMT -5

Post by kjay on Sept 17, 2022 5:20:53 GMT -5

Post by alsr on Sept 17, 2022 9:21:42 GMT -5

Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 18, 2022 2:58:01 GMT -5

Post by jen on Sept 19, 2022 3:32:18 GMT -5

Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 19, 2022 10:02:49 GMT -5

Post by alsr on Sept 20, 2022 23:03:47 GMT -5

Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 21, 2022 11:20:33 GMT -5

Post by jen on Sept 21, 2022 12:06:31 GMT -5

Post by alsr on Sept 21, 2022 18:17:02 GMT -5

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Post by alsr on Sept 22, 2022 12:14:23 GMT -5

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Post by Popcorn&Candy on Sept 22, 2022 15:05:57 GMT -5

Post by a_muppet on Sept 22, 2022 17:08:55 GMT -5

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Post by alsr on Sept 22, 2022 18:04:36 GMT -5

Post by kjay on Sept 22, 2022 18:43:00 GMT -5

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Post by a_muppet on Sept 23, 2022 3:09:03 GMT -5

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