Post by Popcorn&Candy on May 17, 2022 8:58:53 GMT -5
These are my sister issues:
On the negative side:
1. She is an alcoholic: I know it and my dad knows it.
2. She smokes: and is getting braver with it. I caught her at it, just around the corner where my dad was sitting. If it were my dad that saw her instead, he would've thrown an epic fit. Thankfully I knew this and didn't say anything. But my sister had a lucky escape that day.
3. She NEVER cleans: I've never seen her hoover the house. I've never known her to clean the bathroom or take the rubbish out. She never cleans the little loo: even when it got really dirty a few years back. She seldom washes up after dinner. Perhaps when she's feeling generous she does, but that is rare. Her bedroom is full of bottles of alcohol and - weirdly enough - food tins.
4. She seems to see my elderly dad as a free maid service.
On the positive side:
1. She is friendly
2. She is highly intelligent: she graduated from university with a business degree
3. She is fluent in another language
4. She is really generous
5. She is brilliant at driving
6. She is very attractive
7. She is seriously good at computing
8. She is able to travel the world alone
So, there are many positives to my sister. But there are downsides, too!
Last Edit: May 17, 2022 8:59:41 GMT -5 by Popcorn&Candy
Post by Popcorn&Candy on Jun 11, 2022 15:41:30 GMT -5
You're right, heatherly: we all have good aspects and bad aspects. Plus, EVERYONE drinks. Not everyone cleans. Not everyone is fluent in another language. Not everyone has a degree in business.
My sister just has issues like everybody does. She certainly deserves credit for all she does for me and the rest of the family. Plus, she is dedicated to her work.
Honestly, after a hard day of work, it's really a struggle to want to clean. Many basically use weekends to clean instead, but who really wants to do that either? Cleaning is not enjoyable for most people lol but it still needs to be done.
Maybe doing chores together as a family would work.. put on some music, make a day of it once a week on a day when everyone is free to help each other out. That way your father does not have to be a maid, but your sister can still chip in. It would go faster that way, too. Don't even have to do all chores in one day, can just be a few this week.. a few next week, etc. Break it up a bit.
Post by Popcorn&Candy on Jun 13, 2022 6:40:44 GMT -5
Your advice is bang-on, heatherly. I will suggest it to my dad. I need to help him out myself: I can't lay the blame at my sister's feet. She does work full-time and is shattered by the end of the day. I will cut her some slack. I will also help my dad clean the house: it isn't easy for him. Admittedly I do clean my apartment myself - mostly on my own - but I have time enough to assist my dad.
Post by Rebecca Jo on Jun 18, 2022 16:52:46 GMT -5
I divide up the weekly cleaning tasks so there are only one or two items per weekday - only laundry and dishes are done on the weekend if we're on top of things. And it's the family doing the cleaning together so each job becomes familiar by the kids become adults.
I can't say I agree that everyone drinks, but that's because I can't for health reasons, and I wasn't a fan of the smell of alcoholic drinks before...
Post by Popcorn&Candy on Jun 19, 2022 14:09:54 GMT -5
I don't have the taste for booze myself: I've tried drinking, but it didn't work out. I just did not like being even mildly drunk.
I do assume everyone drinks: but there are exceptions to everything. I - personally - don't "get as pissed as possible" as one bloke said on a famous band YouTube video. Maybe he can afford to get drunk: but I am not him. I don't enjoy drinking alcohol. Never have, never will. I could be convinced to have a glass of red wine when with friends, but they wouldn't be able to turn me into an alcoholic. Plus, I'd stop hanging out with them if that was their agenda.
Post by Rebecca Jo on Jun 20, 2022 15:03:32 GMT -5
I hadn't thought of it when I commented before, but I just recalled the drinking assumption in connection with one of my sisters. She kept putting me down for a while because I didn't drink, like I couldn't have any fun sober. Oooh-kay!
I'm not that surprised right now that said sister hasn't been in contact much lately. She seems to prefer it when I'm the needy sister and she can be the one doling out her own ideas of wisdom, but I'm not in that kind of place right now. Besides, someone who puts me down to feel better about herself isn't going to seem wise in my eyes...
I hadn't thought of it when I commented before, but I just recalled the drinking assumption in connection with one of my sisters. She kept putting me down for a while because I didn't drink, like I couldn't have any fun sober. Oooh-kay!
Alcohol is not always the way to have fun. Sure, I understand drink is a mood enhancer and it is what adults do: like the grandfather drinking a glass of whiskey or a group of older women indulging in a glass of red wine or a group of 20-something women drinking cocktails. I know all of that. But I don't enjoy drinking. It's nice but it isn't for me. Plus, when someone has had too much, someone has to be sober to guide them. Perhaps you could tell your sister this, Rebecca? Do you drive, Rebecca? If you do, just say you need to have a clear head to drive. That always works.
Your sister should understand why you're not drinking, anyway: car or no car. We're on the same page: because alcohol isn't for either of us.
For an amount of years I dont care to count I lied... I told people at dinner parties,and drinks parties and work events and social events, christenings and weddings that I couldnt drink due to medication.
It was the only way to get people to leave me alone.. They would say one wont kill you, just have a little one, its no fun if you dont drink,they tried to slip vodka in my oj it was awful.
BTW, I do drink I like a glass of wine/ a beer /a cider or a vodka cocktail now and then but only when I feel like and and only when I know 100% that I wont be driving.
For an amount of years I dont care to count I lied... I told people at dinner parties,and drinks parties and work events and social events, christenings and weddings that I couldnt drink due to medication.
It was the only way to get people to leave me alone.. They would say one wont kill you, just have a little one, its no fun if you dont drink,they tried to slip vodka in my oj it was awful.
BTW, I do drink I like a glass of wine/ a beer /a cider or a vodka cocktail now and then but only when I feel like and and only when I know 100% that I wont be driving.
This is exactly it, cassie.
I actually AM on medication [although don't tell my psychiatrist I told you!*] so can't drink alcohol anyway. I do know people who've had bad problems due to alcohol. Needless to say, those people don't drink much. Plus, not everyone wants to drink: other people should respect that.
In fact, in the film "The Devil Wears Prada" Anne Hathaway's character goes to a party one night. On her arrival this strange guy TELLS her [NOT asks] that she "must be in need of some hard liqueur". This made me angry: he didn't even know her and he was already telling her what to do. I know it is only fiction, but IRL I'd be going up to the guy and saying "You don't even know the lady. I'd say she's grown up enough to decide for herself." That guy was arrogant and rude and was making assumptions about a woman he barely knew. In her shoes, I'd refuse the drink and say " I think I can decide for myself."
That guy was an arrogant ba*tard. I did not like that character at all. Sure, he was attractive. But he was an utter idiot: in fact, worse.
a_muppet: Ha, I just spotted you, Noeleena - sneaking in. ::Sgc7Hl4::
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