Good Friend Has A Drinking Problem

That's the most saddening part of alcoholism: only the alcoholic can choose to stop/cut down on drink.

I just pray someting gives: shocks my friend into stopping. But that is wishful thinking.

Also dont be an enabler.. Dont make excuses or let your friend make excuses, dont say aww but its Christmas/a birthday /a party etc.

Dont encourage them.
Dont stop them facing up to their actions even if it means them getting in trouble.
Dont play down their addiction.
Dont let them use around you.

There are lots of other helpful tips on AA websites.

My son let an addict ( drink and drugs ) move in with him he found the guy a job and his only stipulation was you can stay as long as you work and you cant use in my house. We also welcomed him at our house as a friend.
This kindness motivated him to go to rehab get clean and move back to his home town where he carried on working and remained clean.
He said it was the kindness and being trated like a real person that helped him see his way through.

You must feel very proud of him over that.

There's Al-Anon for you as well, Candy.

How is your friend doing now Candy?

I had a drink problem, well I guess I still do but it is under control now. I didn't do AA but was instead referred by the NHS to a service run by my local borough. It helped me hugely to talk to people in the group regularly. I haven't been drunk in almost 3 years now.

It's good that she has cut down but it does sound like she could do with some help from a counsellor or like the group I went to. Maybe she should speak to her GP if she hasn't already. Really wish her the best.

Years ago, I tried drinking myself. I got blind drunk - with my dad in his house - and staggered around. Once I became sober, I felt deep regret and like sh*t. I also had two glasses of red wine at a dinner: the room started spinning. I think people noticed but didn't say anything.

After those two incidences I never drank again. I just can't do it. Walking around drunk is AWFUL. I felt sick and I hated it. I simply am not an alcoholic: I know this in my soul.

Hey, thanks for the concern. And no, I don't think my consumption is excessive or has adverse impact in my life, so far anyway. I do know though I have no intention to stop. But it is wise to limit one's vices. And to do that one needs to know them.

Alcohol is subjective: some like it a lot, others not so much and others not at all.

I am in the not-at-all camp. Mainly because I simply don't like its taste. Sure, I'll have the odd vodka & coke - so I don't look square and uptight - but I won't drink to the point of not being able to walk in a straight line. Alcohol can be nice - and is part of the social scene - but drinking too much isn't cool and just makes the person look out-of-control. Everyone pities the drunk person.

I'm not sure I could be a non-drinker. (Beer though makes me feel bloated so I don't indulge, I'm not particularly attracted to its taste either.) I do think wine complements food better than soda or water alone.

I also try to keep my wits about me when I drink. I've had my share of regrets when I let a bottle of wine become just another party accessory. Definitely better to keep my hand on my purse than my bottle.

Thanks Heather!

No I haven't really worked on my social anxiety. I just accept it is how I am and I don't put as much pressure on myself to be something I'm not.

Acceptance does seem to help take some of the power away from the anxiety. I learned to treat it like a misguided friend who is just trying to protect me.. lol it makes it so I don't freak out and turn it into more than it is.

I think we all have social anxiety, to some degree, just some of us learn to cope better than others.

My mum was so good socially, and my dad could talk to anyone. Can I really be lacking both of their social genes? Maybe the stork dropped me off at the wrong house......