Friendless (G)

Have you never heard of the "International federation of tomatillos adorers"?

Maybe coz I have nil artistic talent, I love seeing others work.


hint, hint

THose are great. 

We had one of those old radios when I was kid. If you looked in the back you could see them all lit up.

My oldest brother was a typical boffin, and I remember him once telling me off for playing the radio too loud. I turned it back up after he left.

So he removed the fuse from the plug.

Funny thing was that after he left I plugged it in, and it lit up, but was silent. He said that couldn't happen. I have no idea what or why. I was just disappointed to lose my music.

That sounds likely.

I remember when we did physics, we were shown how to wire a plug, and why. I got curious and as there was no-one home when I got there, I opened all the plugs. Most o them were not properly tight, and some were so loose the wire was just sitting there, and singing the plastic due to arcing. 

I have felt like that many times. It has gotten better over time for me after working on my anxiety and depression overall.

BTW, no need to apologize for lengthy posts and for expressing yourself!

P.S. Sorry it took a bit to accept your registration, but you are in now koko80!

koko80
"Hey Totally get it, I’m an ambivert with (what I have only just discovered) social anxiety so I tend to avoid intentional social interactions unless it is as a result of a gathering / activity for my daughter. I feel quite friendless and lonely the majority of my waking hours!!
I’m friendly and most people would probably think I was confident, kind and well-meaning (from what I have heard from others, if they happened to mention how they view me). On the inside I have a MASSIVE fear of being misunderstood, overstepping boundaries, being too bold/in-ya-face, misreading social situations and think im a totally unworthy idiot. I think it stems from"

Sounds like a normal day for me. I just don't like people anymore.

Oh look, there's me. ^^ 

But I do act as confidante to others, so I know it is my failing, in not trusting others with my heart.


....and this is why forums are so good. 

Our lips are sealed, as your know

Jessica seems to have vanished, Jen HAS vanished. Melanie, was only here while she was at work, then her workplace clamped down on such activity.

I did invite a few of the old school back, when we re-opened, that was when you and Karen came over here, but they never replied.

Strangely, all those I invited seemed to be enthusiastic about forums.

It was the same on the female forum, all my friends left from there... 

i've had anxiety as long as i can recall and never felt accepted even within my own family. they didn't encourage self-esteem and i perpetuated that with a few relationships in early adulthood and didn't begin to really develop any until age 28 when i suddenly divorced my ex. i had started to venture outside of the situation that kept me "kept" and began to realize i am actually pretty awesome and people do like me. now that i know that, i've started practicing being more discerning with who i spend my energy on. it's difficult because I'm still healing from all the things i experienced and I'm naturally a very accepting person so i tolerate a lot before i simply snap and decide I'm done with a person and bounce out of their life. more and more i've practiced communicating my boundaries and needs prior to give a fair chance. that's a BIG thing in having satisfying friendships. i've even stopped ghosting in the past couple of years, instead explaining why I'm ending contact in a calm manner.

i love my own company and can keep myself entertained indefinitely but it's definitely lonely at times because it's so nice to commiserate and feel understood so i still am trudging along in my quest for closer friendships, hence my recent joining of this forum. i want people i just click with, you know? like others have mentioned i think it's easiest to identify something you find pleasurable and then find others who like the same and go from there. or even something like an illness you have in common, idk, but something that is a decent part of your life so it's easier to keep relevant to your regular life. years ago i tried meetup groups and bumble friends but would end up getting busy with work and life and didn't really click enough with the people to keep things going but it was good experience. i, too, find it particularly difficult to make female friends probably due to a mother wound that i need to unpack a little bit more.

i have a few people i could consider true friends but through the pandemic everyone seems to have withdrawn more when usually I'm the busy introverted one of the friendship. i know everyone in the world is going through stuff right now so I'm extra patient but IM GOING THROUGH STUFF TOO. and there are soooooo many people in the world you're bound to find others you relate with and there's no shame in finding such electronically. even just as practice to finding someone irl.

in relationships someone has to be the first to be vulnerable and that can be scary. i think you'd be surprised how much of the "little stuff" good or bad you have in common with people but we're all programmed not to talk about it. as humans we all have the same basic needs and desires and sometimes you have to boil your commonality to the basics rather than specifics to understand people better. i figure that I'm safe to discuss things because i've been alone all my life and i can be alone again if I'm rejected or disappointed.

hey, at least we are all lonely together here.

Glad you found us then! I think we all can relate even if it's for different reasons. However, we don't have to be truly lonely, as we all have each other. We're here for you whenever you need us, and you can just be yourself!

I always felt like nobody liked me because of how people always treated me... but then you get older and you start caring a little less, and then you realize those people were wrong and were just mean. Some people just want to bring you down or try to dull your light...

Cassie is right, the loneliest is when you are with the a group of people that you feel excluded and have nothing in common with them.