Friend An Alcoholic

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Popcorn&Candy
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Friend An Alcoholic Aug 11, 2022 10:24:41 GMT -5 heatherly likes this

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Post by Popcorn&Candy on Aug 11, 2022 10:24:41 GMT -5

I have this good friend I've known for years, but she is an alcoholic. It is so frustrating because there is nothing I can do. I can't confront her. I can't make her stop drinking. I am powerless. She drinks bottle after bottle of wine. I wish I could stop her: but how?

I know there is nothing you guys can do either, but have any of you coped with family or friends with a drink problem? How did you deal with it? Just accept it or try to help? It is just so frustrating knowing how little I can do. It is up to my friend to realize her problem and be honest with herself. Only she holds the key to stopping drinking.

How do I cope with it? And writing her out of my life is not an option.

But that's the way the world is, James: if you don't look like you deserve that desk, you're not going to get that desk.

Mary
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Friend An Alcoholic Aug 11, 2022 11:06:56 GMT -5 Popcorn&Candy likes this

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Post by Mary on Aug 11, 2022 11:06:56 GMT -5

Well if you're not willing to walk away then you will have to tolerate it because she's not gonna go get help until she's ready to accept that she has a problem and wants to get help. Your only other option is an intervention which could alienate her. Alcoholics generally don't put the stuff down on their own. It has to be her decision.

Last Edit: Aug 11, 2022 11:07:51 GMT -5 by Mary

Seize the day...by the throat if you have to. ☕

heatherly
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Friend An Alcoholic Aug 11, 2022 17:08:49 GMT -5 Popcorn&Candy likes this

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Post by heatherly on Aug 11, 2022 17:08:49 GMT -5

My dad was an alcoholic.. my mom threatened to leave him and take my brother and I with her, and he quit cold turkey. He was sober for a long time, but then a friend of his moved near him, and he has been drinking regularly with him. My mom tells me sometimes he's driving home almost drunk at like 3 in the morning; thankfully hardly anyone is on the road at those hours because he could hurt someone making those poor decisions =/ I'm very concerned and wish his friend would look out for him because he's being a bad influence!

There's not much to be done.. talk to her about it, but don't have high expectations because she has to want to make the change herself. If she sees no problem with it, then she'll keep doing it until something happens that makes her seek help. Hopefully it's not a health problem that will occur... but that's sometimes what causes people to give it up begrudgingly.

Maybe she needs to read about the health issues caused by drinking too much alcohol.

Last Edit: Aug 11, 2022 17:10:46 GMT -5 by heatherly

jen
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Friend An Alcoholic Aug 12, 2022 2:39:45 GMT -5 kjay, Rebecca Jo, and 1 more like this

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Post by jen on Aug 12, 2022 2:39:45 GMT -5

The only thing I suggest is that you, or preferably your friend, contact alcoholics anonymous and ask their advice. I haven't really looked but the website may offer helpful advice:
Alcoholics Anonymous

Last Edit: Aug 12, 2022 2:40:44 GMT -5 by jen

Popcorn&Candy Elite Member III Posts: 6,025	Friend An Alcoholic Aug 12, 2022 3:28:15 GMT -5 jen likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Popcorn&Candy on Aug 12, 2022 3:28:15 GMT -5 Thank you, jen - and everyone else - I have bookmarked Alcoholics Anonymous. I will be contacting them early next week. I am hopeful they can offer useful advice and help me cope, too.
	But that's the way the world is, James: if you don't look like you deserve that desk, you're not going to get that desk.

cassie
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Friend An Alcoholic Aug 12, 2022 4:20:39 GMT -5 a_muppet, jen, and 1 more like this

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Post by cassie on Aug 12, 2022 4:20:39 GMT -5

I can say there are different types of alcoholics. There are the binge drinkers who hold it together all through the week then go all out on the weekend and wake up in strange peoples beds or jail cells with no idea what happened ( I had a friend like that).

Then there are the typical falling down drunk like we see/imagine sitting on a park bench with a bottle stashed in a pocket ..

But there are also very capable functioning alcoholics and I knew one of those too. Her problem was caused by the tragic loss of two babies and the awful advice of male doctors who told her 'dont worry you can always have another one' .. The first drink helped her sleep next night it was two then three , before she knew it it was a bottle of vodka per day but she never missed work she always did her job properly , she kept house and shopped and cooked like anyone else. It just when we drunk tea she had vodka.

Being an alcoholic is not a choice and its not as simple as saying lay off the booze very often the underlying cause has to be addresssed and cured first just like people with eating disorders, thats why people who need gastric surgery see a team of psychiatrists before and after surgery.

I would advise before you go any further to talk to the people at Al Anon who support and help the family and friends of alcoholics, they might help you to see what you can and what you shouldnt do..

www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

Popcorn&Candy
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Friend An Alcoholic Aug 12, 2022 8:19:21 GMT -5 cassie and jen like this

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Post by Popcorn&Candy on Aug 12, 2022 8:19:21 GMT -5

Aug 12, 2022 4:20:39 GMT -5 cassie said:

Then there are the typical falling down drunk like we see/imagine sitting on a park bench with a bottle stashed in a pocket ..

There is that stereotype. My friend is nothing like it: she goes to work like everyone else, she dresses smartly, she is mainly responsible... Looking at her, you wouldn't know she has a drink problem.

I am going onto that website, cassie: they'll be able to advise me and maybe even support me.

But that's the way the world is, James: if you don't look like you deserve that desk, you're not going to get that desk.