My Sister Made Me Want To Hate Her

Just so ^^

What I didn't say was my sister had a bad fall last week. She had to spend overnight at the hospital because she had fractured an arm bone [she didn't break her arm: although it is still very painful]. She could well be feeling trapped and frustrated not being able to work and being stuck at home.

My sister is usually very active, but she's had a bad run of luck health-wise recently:

1. She had a severe cough and cold
2. She has a skin condition on her legs
3. She fell down the stairs and fractured an arm bone
4. The ambulance was called and she spent the night in hospital

She is supposed to be going abroad on Thursday. This is the last year my nan will be alive. My nan is in her 90's and doesn't have long left. My aunt died a few weeks ago, too, and my dad was supposed to go to the funeral. This did not happen because of my sister's fall the night before my dad was due to catch his train. In the end, my dad was not able to go to his sister's funeral. Seeing my sister on the floor so badly injured knocked my dad for six. He was really upset.

My sister had the right to be upset with me - I won't deny her that - but constantly attacking me isn't right, either. I understand she's frustrated and trapped but I won't be her scapegoat. I still care about her but I don't want to put up with being left in tears every time I leave the room.

It sounds like an awful lot of stress and possibly guilt feelings that she is finally venting and you are the person shes vented on.

Maybe after she has been away and seen your nan she will feel better and calmer.

Just tell her you will not let her speak to you that way if she does it again. Then just leave if she keeps up with it. You don't need to put yourself in a situation to be hurt emotionally even if she is having a hard time.. sometimes a little space is good for everyone, especially with all the stress involved.

Sometimes if people are being nasty, I immediately forgive them.

They tend to be lost for words, or it winds them up. Either is good.

None of us are saints.

No: none of us are saints. Least of all my sister!

OK, that was a dig at my sister! But she is more nice than nasty.

My sister had an operation on her arm today: she is spending the night at the hospital. I have spoken to her on her mobile phone and she seems fine. She's on heavy painkillers, so I couldn't talk to her for long. That brings me onto something else:

My dad cleared out my sister's bedroom: really. He went in there took out a few bags of rubbish and hoovered. I cannot believe he did that myself: I would never dare go into my sister's bedroom. But do so he did. Perhaps that is a good thing, though: my sister now has a decluttered and clean bedroom to come home to.

It only took the threat of me going into my stepson's room to sort it when he was in his teens. I didn't threaten too very often but he knew I meant it and it got so bad!!!

My sister is 45.

Thank you cassie: my sister has returned home today and - as far as I'm aware - there're no issues. It is just a matter of one or two weeks for my sister to recover fully.

It does seem wrong to have had my dad clear out my sister's room: I was surprised myself. But clear out her room he did. I can understand why: although I can't say why on a public domain. Needless to say, I think my sister needs counselling.

My sister was angry but she didn't show that anger to our dad. It is an on-going issue. There are a number of problems between my sister and dad. And my sister is no saint. She lives in my dad's house and I guess he just put his foot down. In fact, he wants my sister to move out and me to move in! I don't have the problems my sister has. And my dad realizes it. I have my own apartment, which is a short walk to my dad's house. This is very handy.

Anyhow, another instalment of my family affairs!

If your sister is a hoarder ( ive worked with a couple) then cleaning out her stuff might just make her worse.

These kind of people have attachments to each item and they feel safe while those things are around them.

Counselling is the only way to work out what the triggers are and help them in moving forward.

Well at least he is consistent.

....and little and frail. They couldn't believe how he managed to get old fridges into his garden....