Want your opinion

First of all define a good life.

One of the saddest film moments I have ever seen is seeing Prince Charles as a tiny child greeting his mother from a train with an outstretched hand to shake her hand as if he is an adult, no warmth, no love, no motherly greeting ,that is not a good life.

Do I think people on benefits should turn out child after child no, but then none of us should in the current situation we should all be limiting ourselves to one child if at all.
So benefits should be paid for the children who are there at the time the parent is claiming benefit after that no children will be additionally paid for.

But if we are basing the right to have children on our financial security remember a rich man today can be wiped out tomorrow... what would you do with his children then?

Besides which having money does not make you a good parent nor does it ensure that your children will have a good life financially secure and emotionally happy are two entirely different things. Some of the richest people in the world are the most screwed up deranged and emotionally cold people on earth.

Another point is that of your tax dollars.
Basically when we pay tax we do not get to say where that money goes , it would be chaos if we did.
Just imagine I might not have a problem with feeding the poor but I don't have children in education so why should my tax dollars go towards state schools? I am not an elderly person so why should my tax dollars go towards paying pensions and services for elderly people?
You can see how our countries would descend into chaos if we all had choices of where our money was spent. No, once we hand it over it is up to our elected representatives to use that money in the best way they see fit to support the social system which is the democracy that we live in.

Thanks Ladies, you all have great points. I am just angry hearing about people give birth in public restroom and leave their babies there to be found.

Or stories about some crack head mother with drug addict boyfriend who abuse their kids.

Ooh... that depends. Too many factors to consider. There are plenty of situations where people should not be able to keep their children, though, and we already have laws about that. If someone abuses children.. then certainly take the children away.

I don't think someone on heavy drugs should have a child. The child can be born with withdrawal symptoms and various health issues. However, it is still up to the one who becomes pregnant whether or not they want to continue with the pregnancy, whether I agree with it or not.... but then once the child is born, child protective services should place the child in a better environment.

If they can turn their life around and prove it, then perhaps one day they can have the child in their life again, but I'm not sure if they should ever fully be returned or not depending just how long the child is cared for by someone else already. It would be upsetting to remove the child from the home they know at that point just to be with the one who birthed them. Well, I'm not sure that applies to child abusers... I would never trust them again.

Finance V motherhood...

Heres a tricky choice.. You can have it all....

That was the line spun to girls back in the 1980s when I was still at school and people tried to tell us that the age of the woman had finally arrived. I’m sorry to say but it’s a lie still being churned out to girls today.

You may dispute this and point out a few successful women in business or politics but let’s face it those women are the exception not the rule and here’s why.

​​Let’s start with a few simple sums. There are 24 hours in a day and each person can only be in one place at a time so...

24 hours...

Minus 8 hours to sleep = 16 hours

Minus 8 hours for the career you are supposed to have = 8 hours



So, you now have 8 hours left in each day.

​​But you can still have it all. Oh yes because in the world where you have it all you have a house and a husband (or partner of choice) and kids and a dog….

So, in those 8 hours you will…clean the house until it shines, cook like Nigella Lawson, be a mother like Mary Poppins and a sex goddess combination of Marylin Monroe and Dita von Teese.



You will make your children happy by playing with them, taking them to and from school, reading to them, attending school plays, baking for the bake sale or school charity, attend sports day and parents’ evenings, arrange and supervise play dates and of course help them in their chosen sport or hobby.

You will make sure there is a tasty and nutritious meal on the table each evening and an equally portion controlled vitamin rich packed lunch for them.

Oh, and don’t forget breakfast, the most important meal of the day!

You will walk the dog, feed it, groom it and take it to the vet when necessary.

You will clean your house so that there are no nasty germs lurking on table tops, counters or under the toilet rim …shock horror.

Then you will make sure that you are clean sweet smelling and sexy as hell for your partner whom you will please in bed until they swoon from delight.

​​

Plus….

You will make sure there is time for you to have nights off, date nights with your partner, nights out with the girls, holidays, days at the zoo, the beach, walking in the country.

You will also find time to get your hair and nails done find time to apply make-up, dress nicely and do your twice weekly work out at the gym because no one loves a fatty do they?



And while you do all this you will smile, because you have it all but….



Looking around what I actually see are women balancing a lot of spinning plates, they are desperately running back and forth trying to keep everything going, being all things to all people, the consummate business woman, the best friend, the perfect mother, the perfect housewife, the best lover and they are failing. They are miserable and falling apart.

Because the truth is there just are not enough hours in the day to have everything, something has to give. Even if you are at the top level in your chosen career it only means that you will be able to afford to employ other people to do things for you and while it makes no difference to a house who dusts it or polishes it, to children there is a world of difference if its mummy who comforts them when they are sick or a childminder, no matter how much they might like their childminder she /he isn’t mummy.

Notice I say mummy and that’s because even now in the 21st century when a child is sick the school will invariably call the mother it doesn’t matter if mums’ career is world class and dad is a dustman they still see children as being the responsibility of a mother.

If you have people round and your house is a tip 99.9% of people will cast a sideways glace at the woman of the house and label her a the slovenly pig who does no housework , they don’t care if you have been up since 5am being wonder woman slaving for a boss and running yourself ragged after kids they still expect the woman to present a clean house.

It’s the same with food it’s the woman who is expected to make sure her family is well fed. Take a look at Tv adverts, how many show a man changing a nappy or making a meal, pushing a vacuum cleaner or ironing??? If that’s not enough to convince you that society still has the woman firmly placed as being the homebody who cares cleans and holds everyone together I don’t know what will.

I’m not saying we don’t need to break moulds and stereotypes because we do but don’t fall for the lies don’t fall the phoney idea that you can have it all because the fact is you can’t, the plain truth is someone will always loose.

The real truth is, women are pushing boundaries, women are saying No to the stereotypical idea that they have to bear children and stay at home all their lives, women are still striving to break through as equals in a world still not ready to accept them as such, but the fact is that in life we all have to make choices and having it all is not an option for 99.9% of us.

So maybe you are lucky maybe you are the 1% but does money make you a better mother?
What criteria are you going to push.. Drug use ok I think we can all agree on that..
Overeating?
Not being 100% mental health checked?
Not having a rock solid relationship? Show me anyone who has and I will show you a liar.. All that rubbish about never having a cross word in 40 years tripe.
Not having a solid career?...See above that means you have less time not more..

Maybe you would check our family backgrounds for stability , suitablity, finance or health Sounds like selective breeding to me and we all know who tried that..